Sworn fealty

Steel was shimmering in the sun
Blood stains rested on our swords
Remains of the battle we had won
With pride we could return to our lords

The victory was finally ours
Yet there was not a smile to be found
Seconds seemed like hours
As we stood there without a sound

Meaningful looks were exchanged
As we counted our losses
You'd think we were deranged
As we obediently ran back to our bosses

Many of our friends had died
At the hands of our enemy
They left loving families behind
I fulfill my role dreadfully

With a heavy heart I carry the body bags
Filled with our lost brothers
The lords treat them like old rags
Not even a proper funeral, no one bothers

Our lords arrive at the gate
Hesitantly I bend my knee
To the bastards I wholeheartedly hate
Someday I'll break free

For now I'll just play along
Waiting for the perfect opportunity
Singing a silent grieving song
While I punish them for their unforgivable cruelty

Bit of poetry I wrote (currently untitled):

Give me your careless words and your thoughtless comments,

I will breathe them away and leave the skeletons hanging there.

I cant take everything, you know. Im only the wind.

Still, Ive whirled away your teasing, your bullying,

your arrows that you shoot straight into others hearts.

I can create deafening silence with my faint, hushed voice,

dissolving words in my gentle sighs,

but the arrows remain.

The children you called fat, dumb, weird -

you cracked their vessels and I slipped in.

And when you shut them out, told them they werent good enough -

you stabbed them, hard, and I cooled the wound.

Your harsh, grating laughs rang in their ears,

reverberating in their dreams.

I cant take everything, you know. Im only the wind.

Im not strong enough to patch the vessels,

pull out the knives,

wipe away the laughs,

and heal all the wounds youve given them.

Still, I collect the words and bequeath my whispers,

whispers that echo the horror of your torments.

I caressed the hair of the little children

who sat outside where the grass tickled their bony knees

and mimicked my whispers to convince themselves

of the well-known myth:

Sticks and stones may break my bones…

but words will never hurt me.

(Trigger Warning. self-harm, relationship abuse)

My Everything

I'm madly in love with you.

My mind replays the image of your face

like a broken tape.

I'm infatuated by you.

The way you wrap your arms around me;

how soothing it is!

I'm obssessed with you.

Thoughts of you cut me endlessly,

and sometimes I don't want to stop.

You're madly in love with me,

never leaving my side,

only tailing me like a dog.

You are infatuated by me.

You look at me every single day,

whispering sayings into my ears.

You're obssessed with me.

And you're stuck to me like a gum.

It pained me to get rid off you.

When I think about you:

You're a grim cloud,

looming over my head.

You're the knife

that slashes my wrists.

You're my broken mixtape,

playing over and over.

You're my lover and my mistress

who I can't let go.

Yet--

You're my everything,

but I want you to become nothing.

You're my depression,

but I want you to be my vitality.

You're my illness,

but I want you to be my cure.

Why are you my everything

when you are really nothing?

As I stand

Conduct the band

The music we play

Could sadden each day

As I look

Down at my book

The words stare back

And laugh at my lack

Music of tomorrow

We play with sorrow

Reflecting my thoughts

On the sheets we brought

My mind is calm

As my palms

Move swiftly

It seems misty

We must play on

The intro far gone

Together we play

Til the end of all days

First Love

I loved her at a time

when I felt unloved,

unlovable.

When everyone but her proffered advice but little support,

change in a world of flux,

when I yearned for stability.

But my hunger was dagger-sharp and deep.

and its wounds were found in her reticence,

in her down-turned eyes.

So I distanced myself while there was still love to cherish,

A pinpoint on the horizon, like a twinkling star.

but I seek it yet,

in hotel lobbies and airport terminals,

among the arrivals and reunions,

The embraces with bouquet laden arms.

I study the farewells with the promises of return,

And grieve the passion that has vanished,

of a love flown, never to recur.

She waiting on God to help her,

Waiting for him to send her his love

Waiting on him to send help from above

waiting for his mercy for thins she has done wrong

waiting for him to help her move on

waitimg for him to tell her the truth

waiting for him to help her through

waiting for him to give her a sign

waiting on him to tell her everythings going to be fine

waiting on him to give her his love

waiting , just waiting, wnderinmg if he will come through tis time

hoping he is there and that he still cares.

I know that I have done wrong but I only did those things to help someone

to help them be safe from waht danger awaits them

I know that you have to give to receive but Ithink I have given to my handsbleedwhy shpoukd I punish for things that I think aree right

whats the point of having free will if you can say whats on your mind

I have tobe myself even if it not what others like

Iam not going to change jsut to fit in

I think that the biggest sin you can make towards your self develoment

Iam not anyones hereo just myself hereo cuz man if soemone goes through helll they deserve to be in heaven , I want that mooment when I found my self to return

if I cant be me iam not having any fun

You can get mad at me for the way that iam I cnt let go of this person I ahve become if you want me to you shalkl be shun

I don't need a teacher anymore

unless that teacher is wise

I don't think I should take pointers

from a person who doesn't have a life

if you are a bad person don't give me advice,

find yourself someone to help you through your life

and leave mine alone,

man I hate in-laws

Today I will try to stop wondering why iam in a bad place

I will find beauty in every sittuation

I hate how that if your tying to be nice person you still get nothing in return its like why iam I being punished for doing good, even though I went about it the wrong way I shouldnt be punsihed for it

exspceailly if I was trying to help I was just thinking out of fear but now my bad luck

wont dissapear, I guess Karma dosent care if your attentions were good or not if you do something wrong to soemone yo still get a mark

a mark tI dont deserve but whatever I guess next time Ill know better!

I want you and I to be together like this

all I ever wanted was us to have perfect bliss

I cant remmber the time I was happy besides now

but I dont think my destiny is going let us have it anymore

I didnt look ahead to our future I was being so caught up in the moment that II ddint think thisn could end , but now It may now we cant win

I cant believe we will loose our way just becuase I couldnt look away

into the future I guess i should have known that all things good can come undone.