First time, any thoughts?
The darkness closes in
Remining me of their sins
I can't escape and I can't win
I cant forget and I can't forgive
Open a book, time to escape
A new friend, new foe, new escapade
Call me a nerd but you aint in my head
Without my books i might be de@d
Dont worry about me my real family's right here
Even though when I open my eyes they disappear
The darkness closes in, reminds me of their sins
But this time they wont win
@Sweetgirl07
Your poem is very interesting indeed; i thought it was a novel choice to have the increasing syllabic length progressing and wavering, as if we are party to an inner monologue that is building in intensity. And it continues to do so, rising to a crescendo before cutting back to the starting syllabic profile, emphasising the defiance of the final line. A bold, and admirable statement. I also loved the unconventional use of rhyme; sometimes couplets, sometimes multiple lines, and once as a partial rhyme. It made the poem seem more organic, like we are witnessing a stream of consciousness rather than a crafted refined set of ideas. It was good to read.
@BastionKnight Oh wow, thank you so much for the feedback! I'll be honest, I dont read poetry that often, and havent written any before, I usually just work on the fantasy novel im writing, or sometimes i write songs
I didnt even think about it or realize i was doing that until i read your comments, thanks for opening my eyes a bit haha
Im so glad you enjoyed it!!
