It’s getting better, oh wait-not anymore.
It’s getting better-oh wait, not anymore.
I felt the sun, a gentle glow,
The weight was lifting, soft and slow.
The clouds had parted, skies were clear,
For once, it seemed, the end was near.
But then the winds, they turned around,
Pulled me back, without a sound.
Just when I thought I’d found the light,
Darkness crept in, stole the night.
A step ahead, two steps behind,
A cycle etched into my mind.
Hope, it flickers, then it fades,
Like fleeting warmth on colder days.
It’s getting better, I try to say,
But shadows grow and skies turn gray.
The climb is steep, the fall is near,
Tomorrow’s joy, today’s new fear.
I’ll fight again, just like before,
It’s getting better-oh wait, not anymore.
@iloveyouxx BRAVO! An excellent piece. The uniform syllabic structure and twin rhyming couplet composition of each stanza gives this poem a melodic flow...and you use that flow against us with the last two lines as we instinctively expect it to continue but then you provide the discordant final line, providing greater emotional weight to it.
I adored the imagery of the celestial elements as well as the spectrum of light and dark. I feel they were all very well chosen, and seem to build up in an organic fashion as we see the narrators mind and emotions reflected in those elements, and feel empathy for them as those very elements turn more menacing and detached.
Good job, keep it up.
@BastionKnight
omg- thankyou so much😭you seem really smart haha thankyou so much your post specifically this actually made me happy like you recognized every detail and everything put into this like you saw the structure the disruption the imagery and emotion it means a lot that you recognized everything I was trying to convey, seriously, thankyou so much🖤
@iloveyouxx wow, this is so beautifully written! i really love it and i love how nicely you've turned this very relatable awful feeling into such a good poem. your vocabulary and the way you've put it and the picture you've managed to create in my mind. and you've found rhyming words too! that would take so much talent, you're really very talented. ❤️
i understand the feeling though. just when we think things are going well and it's all getting better, the darkness and pain return. it's can be so hard to deal with and we feel "why on earth with all this have to come back again?! i thought i was gone!" but yeah, it happens, as much as i wish it didn't. but you're not alone, i feel it and many others do too. *sending strength, warmth, hugs and light to get you through the dark times* we're here for you, okay? 🫂
thank you so much for writing and sharing this poem. i'm so glad i came across this. by the way i remember talking to you for a little bit in i think the month of may. nadia, right, if i remember correctly? it's so good to hear from you again because things sounded really bad then, i'm glad you're still here. keep going, we believe in you. wishing you all the best and i hope the darkness doesn't last too long and brighter days come soon. ❤️
