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Curly hair

Soniabstrait March 29th, 2018

Hello, I'm a black girl with curly hair, like 3C/4A

I just wanted to share what just happened. I told my mom that someone invited me to a wedding and her reaction was "youre not going to the wedding with your hair like that"

She hates my hair so much and it annoys me a lot, since it's literally the hair that it's growing out of my SCALP, and she's my MOTHER.

It almost made me cry because it's just so ridiculous the fact that I can't just wear my natural hair. She's acting as if I died them blue (which is fine, Im just pointing the fact that she should'nt be mad at something that I have no control over, it's the way my hair is)

I started to wear my natural hair out more than a year ago, before that I would always make a bun. At the beginning I had to hide it from my mom, then one day she found out and after a while she finally "accepted it" (after a lot of arguments though)

But today she still criticizes my hair a lot and make me feel like as it it's ugly.

Does anyone has the same experience ?

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Booklover95 March 29th, 2018

@Soniabstrait

I can not believe she said that!! :o

People with curly hair are so cute! Is so original and adorable! Honestly rock your hair, screw what she said. Many people pay hundreds to get super cool curly hair and you have it all natural! Rock it ! heart

3 replies
Soniabstrait OP March 29th, 2018

@Booklover95 thank you so much it means a lot to me ! ♡

I wish that my mother would think like you, but anyway I really love my hair now whatever people think ! Curly hair is so cool even though it's pretty hard to take care of

And btw straight hair is cool too !

2 replies
Booklover95 March 29th, 2018

@Soniabstrait

Thank you. I find my hair pretty boring (short and straight) but I find different hairstyles, different hair types and even different hair colours awesome :)

The more diversity we have the more original and beautiful the world becomes. So please keep loving your beautiful hair, you're perfect the way you are.

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TaranWanderer March 29th, 2018

@Soniabstrait It sounds like your mom is coming from a place where she has trouble accepting natural hair. I'm sure you are well aware of the pressure to 'relax' or hide your natural curls, all the media portraying curly hair as less-desirable..it's only more recently that embracing natural hair has really started to push to the top. So, while it's definitely /not/ okay that she's telling you the hair that you naturally grow is "ugly", in a way it's understandable. I can imagine the world that she grew up in, the pressures she felt/saw surrounding natural hair. It sounds like her opinions are just a product of what she was immersed in growing up, and it's hard to break those ideas sometimes. I really hope she can grow to be more accepting, to see how beautiful your natural hair is. But in the meantime..I guess, try not to take her words to heart. You know you're beautiful, you know your hair was meant to be the way it is, and you know it's great just as it is!

4 replies
Soniabstrait OP March 30th, 2018

@TaranWanderer I completely agree with you !

You're absolutely right about everything you said, that kind of mindset unfortunately exist because of one part of the history of black people (slavery)

It will get better with time and new generation

But yeah it sucks that I have to "suffer" from it

3 replies
TheSteveFundYPOC April 1st, 2018

@Soniabstrait

Thanks for sharing with us and I completely understand. I chopped off my armpit length relaxed hair in efforts to learn how to manage my own hair. My hair was about 6 inches long after the cut. Let's just say I received less than stellar reactions, I became more confident when I learned how to care for my own hair. I began to appreciate my every changing curl pattern based on the weather or products that I use. I found that it took people a while (family and friends) to get "used" to my new style, many people thought I was just going through "a phase and would come to my senses". It unfortunate that you are experiencing this with your own parent, but I hope you will be able to take solace in the fact that the beauty of your hair is in your ability to care for it how you like. People may always have something to say, but as time goes on the way you react to their feelings will change because its a reflection of how they feel and its not a part of your reality. Its almost 8 years later and I am glad that I made that decision. It will get better smiley

Kimson

2 replies
Soniabstrait OP April 1st, 2018

@KimsonTheSteveFundYPOC

Thank you so muuch for that comment

Im happy for you ! And btw I rocked my curly hair at the wedding hehe

1 reply
TheSteveFundYPOC April 2nd, 2018

@Soniabstrait

Yes so glad to hear it!

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CrayolaMoon909 April 1st, 2018

Curly hair, don't care, lol. I understand, my mom doesn't like my locs, but at the end of the day she can't change it. Only I have the power to change it, so they will be around for a while.cheeky

1 reply
Soniabstrait OP April 1st, 2018

@CrayolaMoon909 Yeeees thats the spirit !

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Emma88 July 23rd, 2018

My hair is very thick and curly. I use Redken & Rowenta steam iron. It comes with double technology plates that ensure a constant flow of steam during styling from the root to the tip to provide a soft, sleek finish, which are very good. Another tip when you're straightening.. if you have a particularly stubborn curl or flick, then close the plates over it and straighten in the opposite direction of the curl. This is definitely the Best Steam Flat Iron

Beautifuldreamer98 July 23rd, 2018

@Soniabstrait omg can I just say that I think you're amazing for wearing your hair in its natural form~ I have the same hair type as you and I also have the same 'mom type' (hahaha) as you but I dont have the guts to go against her wishes. So, I have straightened hair and trust me, as much as it's easier, I miss my curly locks a lot! I think it's great that you're embracing your natural hair! I know I'm not in the place to say this but like YOU GO GIRL FOR STANDING UP TO YOU MOM~ I know it hurts your self-esteem every time she makes remarks but like remember that your curly hair makes you.. well YOU! <3 rock it!