Module 1. Mindfulness: (Discussion #8) Negative Judgments

DBTuesday is a series of posts where we explore skills and concepts from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT).

This is one of several posts focusing on mindfulness, which is the first module of DBT skills training. See this post for general info about DBT and this post for more info about mindfulness.

What are negative judgments

Negative judgments are when we look at something and evaluate it as bad.

While researching for this post, I came across a couple slightly different perspectives on negative judgments:

• Negative judgments are normal, natural, and can sometimes be constructive. They become problematic when they are overly critical in an unhelpful way.

• Negative judgments in general contribute to suffering and it is best to reduce them as much as possible.

I’ll try my best to present some ideas from both perspectives.

Impact of negative judgments

Research has found that people who have the least negative judgments also have lower levels of depression, anxiety, and stress-related symptoms.

Negative judgments about ourselves can contribute to many different mental health issues such as depression, social anxiety, body image issues, feelings of worthlessness, guilt, and self-harm.

Negative judgments about others can negatively affect interpersonal relationships, leading to feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Tip #1: identify and examine problematic negative judgments

Here are some examples of specific qualities that might make a negative judgment problematic:

• Lack of empathy: not considering the perspective, thoughts, feelings, and experiences of someone else that might have led to them acting a certain way

• Assuming shared values: not considering that another person might be starting from a different set of values

• Disregarding situational factors: sometimes there may be specific factors in a situation that make it more likely or necessary for someone to act a certain way

• Closed-mindedness: sometimes there might be new facts to consider that could potentially change our initial negative evaluation

• Lack of knowledge: sometimes we might make a strong judgment when we don’t have complete or certain knowledge about the situation

• Pessimistic bias: we might start from an assumption that things are bad when there isn’t enough evidence yet to reach that conclusion for this specific situation
  

The opposite of these is the following:

• Consider other people’s perspectives and values
• Recognize that situational factors can affect people’s actions
• Be on the lookout for new information that might change our judgments
• Acknowledge anything that might be uncertain or unknown
• Try to base judgments on present facts rather than assumptions
  
  

Example: examining a negative judgment

Judgment: “These DBTuesday posts are so useless! Why the heck does this idiot QuietMagic keep creating these garbage posts that nobody cares about?”

Examination:

• Empathy: “They might be putting a lot of effort into these posts. They possibly have good intentions, care about doing something helpful, and believe that what they’re doing is helpful. They might also be creating the posts based on a sense of obligation or duty.”

• Value differences: “Maybe they care about creating something detailed based on research while that just isn’t something I personally care about or am looking for.”

• Situational factors: “They might be working within a culture where the general expectation and norm is for community leaders to create posts like this.”

• Open-mindedness: “I recently saw something I liked in one of the DBTuesday posts, so maybe there are at least some things in there that might be of value.”

• Uncertainty: “I don’t really know how other people feel about the DBTuesday posts, so I can’t confidently say that they’re useless to everybody. Maybe there are some people who like them.”

• Realistic optimism: “If there’s something I dislike about these posts and would like to be different, it’s possible that maybe by giving feedback they might be willing to change what they’re doing. So maybe the situation isn’t permanently hopeless.”
  
  

Tip #2: rephrase negative judgments

One tip for reducing negative judgments is to look at our language and try to rephrase the way we say things:

• Describe the facts of the situation
• Describe the feeling/thought you have in response

A way of doing this can be to use the general form “When ___ I feel ___.”


Example: rephrasing a negative judgment

Judgment: “These DBTuesday posts are so useless! Why the heck does this idiot QuietMagic keep creating these garbage posts that nobody cares about?”

Rephrasing: “When I read the DBTuesday posts, I have the thought that they don’t feel very relevant to me or to people similar to me. When I come here looking for support and I’m not able to receive what I’m looking for, I feel disappointed, sad, lonely, hopeless, and angry.”

Reflection

1) What is a recent negative judgment you’ve had?

2) How might you either examine or rephrase that negative judgment?

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/theory-knowledge/201305/making-judgments-and-being-judgmental

https://www.mentalhelp.net/depression/judgmental-thinking-and-anxiety

https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/self-criticism

https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/mindfulness/letting-go/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/dbt/2010/06/exercises-for-non-judgmental-thinking