Personality Disorders Community Check-in: August 22nd–August 28th
Hello, PD Support Community!
I recently became a Forum Supporter for the Personality Disorders Support community and will be doing weekly check-ins from now on.
If you were active here in 2021-2022 and happen to remember me, hello again. 😊
💛 How has your week been?
💛 What is something new that you've been working on or are considering exploring?
If you prefer not to answer these questions, feel free to say hello, ask for a hug, or share anything else that you've been thinking about. 💛
If you would like to be added or removed from the taglist, click here
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@QuietMagic
Hello Quiet, it warms my heart to see you back as a forum supporter, very excited to see what you have in store for the community.
As for plans for this week, I'm just looking forward to catching up with some work I've been neglecting. How about you? I hope you're doing well.
Thank you.
@Xe
Hi, good to see you! Catching up on work sounds great. I'm doing good--I had more free time than usual last week so I started reading a few books, but I'm expecting things to be busy again this week (which is fine).
I don't have anything special planned for now with the forum beyond the basics (make sure all posts get replies, do weekly check-ins, keep the forums non-stigmatizing, try not to burn myself out this time around). But if anybody wants something special, I'll be happy to try my best. 😊
The idea keeps floating around in my mind of doing a series of posts similar to "DBTuesday" on ACT. But the couple times that I've tried reading about it, I keep getting pulled into interesting tangents (e.g. "self-as-context" got me looking into Buddhism, "experiential avoidance" got me reading about exposure therapy). Nobody's begging me to stay focused and create a post series on ACT, so I'm just allowing myself to get pulled in a bunch of different directions and enjoying the ride, lol.
@QuietMagic
Hey, sorry for the late response, got caught up in things. Good to see you as well! I hope you enjoyed reading, do share if you discovered anything interesting. Good to stay busy.
Those basics seem plentiful already, and hear you on burning yourself out, thats definitely easy to do with social responsibilities. Just having you here in the forum is special enough haha
I'm not very familiar with ACT but it does sound intriguing. I looked it up a little, can see it being very fruitful as a practice.
Those tangents you get dragged into while learning something is really the best part isn't it? Again, do share any food for thought. Buddhism and Exposure therapy really offer a different angle towards understanding personality, thats for sure. I am not really active in any capacity here but would love to discuss anything which catches your fancy.
Best regards.
@Xe
The exposure therapy stuff is super-interesting. Was reading through this book and was really impressed with the amount of research and how unexpectedly nuanced/individualized/compassionate the process is:
https://archive.org/details/prolongedexposur0000foae/mode/2up
The classical understanding of the exposure stuff seems to be that that there's a habituation that takes place:
1) Within-session habituation: if a person experiences something, initially there might be a big response but the longer they experience it, the less of a response they have to it (within a single experience)
2) Between-session habituation: the next time they come across that thing, the initial response is diminished
[This is research from like 40 years ago, but the graphs really felt like they clarified what's happening and what the time scale is. Like people really have to wait 20, 30, 40 minutes before their nervous system acclimates.]
It seems like recently there's a bit more controversy around the actual mechanism of what's happening, and some researchers are saying that it's not so much habituation but rather that people just get used to experiencing fear and become more accepting of it. (Either way it seems to work somehow.)
An important part of that process, which I like, is that there's this initial step of creating an exposure hierarchy (grading a bunch of situations from least anxious to most anxious) and only working on the low end of that spectrum and waiting until those situations become less anxious before moving up to the next thing. Addresses a concern that I had of "aren't you just re-traumatizing people and increasing their fear". The book was really sensitive to that. I imagine people who try to do self-directed exposure but don't have success with it maybe go up the hierarchy too quickly.
The book also mentioned that self-directed exposure sometimes isn't as effective because it can help a ton to have a therapist be there basically cheering you on, telling you you're doing a great job, encouraging you to keep going even if it's challenging, and giving some authority/trust to the process of "this is exactly what's supposed to happen and don't worry it'll get better and here's why based on the theory/research that underlies what we're currently doing".
Another key point that I wasn't aware of is that clients aren't supposed to do any relaxation techniques, deep breathing, etc. during exposure. Because then the association/interpretation will be "I felt better because I did this relaxation technique" rather than "this thing is less scary".
I wonder though if there are certain populations where this kind of thing just simply doesn't work, or maybe the exposure process would need to be much more slow/gentle (e.g. autistic spectrum)
@QuietMagic
hi Magic.
Week has been not good. Only ok thing has been work and next week that’s set to change. Realised as some point if you live in today as it’s all you can manage. The future you can’t tolerate comes making that living in today not a remaining option anymore.
self awareness is something I was exploring, but it’s a complicated one. Quickly learn emotional intelligence has self awareness as a core building block. Been kinda off putting to learn about after this discovery. It’s like an unachievable desire .
@LabeledBPD
Sorry that your week has been bad. 😔 That makes sense what you're saying that just getting through each day (instead of focusing on the future) works until there's something creeping into the present that makes it difficult to stay there.
Also makes sense that the idea of emotional intelligence would feel demoralizing/unachievable if it's supposed to be grounded on self-awareness and then self-awareness is really complicated/difficult.
Sometimes if something feels impossible, I'll give up on it (even if it's supposed to be necessary/important), live life in a way that feels natural/doable to me, have my own experiences, undergo certain changes as a result of those experiences... and then months/years later I'll come back to that impossible thing and realize that I've accidentally done it--just in a different way that happened spontaneously and didn't require making myself do something that felt impossible or trying to control something that's uncontrollable.