Am I a narcissist or just schizoid? Can narcissists get to be better people?
hello! i will give a brief introduction of myself and explain the issue. my dad was diagnosed with schizophrenia, but he could possibly be schizoid or narcissist, I'm not sure. the town where he lives has poor psychiatry support. i inherited his illness and also have a narcissistic mother (i think she is narcissistic because she wants people to pity her and she deprived my sister and i from privacy in our childhood, and was overprotective. ) i see a therapist since i was 7 and had many diagnoses before. I'm loving in a bigger city now with my girlfriend and my current psychiatrist diagnosed me as schizoid. i never told him before how jealous i am of my colleagues who get promotions or attention at work though. i never told him how i get resentful for not getting attention and how i make everything about me. i do things in order to get things back as a reward and i constantly seek approval. is this narcissistic personality disorder? am i "just" schizoid? are schizoids narcissistic? am i a bad person? do i ever do something without second intentions? can I be a honest person? am i acting all the time? do narcissistic people get better from narcissism with treatment? i feel like I'm wrong. i wish I was good or that i could get to be good one day. thank you for reading
@determinedZebra5395
i mean...whatever the situation is, it sounds like you’re aware of it and therefore could do something about it. Maybe not something you want to do but you could begin with taking some steps, like you already have with reaching out on here.
plus you have a girlfriend and are in a bigger city with more options which doesn’t always make things easier but it doesn’t mean you have some choices now.
so maybe just asking yourself what you’re willing to change and noticing what is happening with your thoughts and recognizing that thought patterns are inherited and can be changed if one wants.
maybe nobody told you or taught you this. If so there will need to be some forgiveness work, and practice changing your thought patterns so they support you and don’t negate you.
this takes time so be patient and gentle on yourself. Change and growth doesn’t happen overnight. If this is one of your thought patterns I suggest you start there - be firm and tell it you’re in charge now and that things are going to change around here. It will take a few days but then you’ll notice those change.
You have a partner so you can do some of this work with her. Ask her to sit across from you and practice affirmations with her. Say aloud “I’m willing to change in positive, loving ways. I release the patterns that no longer support me.” It may seem odd at first, and even feel wrong. That’s just resistance...our thoughts are like a misbehaving child - it doesn’t want to change. Let your partner reflect back lovingly, gently and patiently what she notices and to provide encouragement and sacred space.
Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer and Eckhart Tolle are some great resources to look into.
Do you have any questions about what I’ve said here today?
thank you so much for answering me! i agree, i have food opportunities to learn and change, and I'm very thankful for this. I'm also thankful for being critical of my narcissistic patterns. thank you so much for the advice, i will talk to my girlfriend and work through this, i will learn to break the patterns. i will try to do your exercise, I'm dure i can sit with my girlfriend and talk to her about how I'm willing to stay positive and break the patterns, i hope she is alright about this.. i don't know how she will feel when I tell her that I'm truly a narcissist and that i probably manipulate her just so she feels pity for me. it's tough. but certainly I'm in a better situation than many others. thank you again! you were great help
Remember to focus on yourself and not any labels. You’re a whole person. Any illnesses are not who a person is so don’t identify with it. Separate yourself from any behaviour but don’t use the behaviour as an excuse to act like a terrible person. That is Norbert being true to yourself. It will take time to overcome but if you’re willing to make change and not place blame on anyone else then the maze will get easier and easier to navigate. Plus, as you haven’t been formally diagnosed, calling yourself anything may not be very wise. Finding a reputable doctor or professional who knows how to properly diagnose such dis-orders may help. Anyway, you don’t have to do or listen to anything I say. None of this is law. It’s more of just a buffet of insights. Take what you want for your own plate and leave what you don’t. Questions?