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starlitsky personal update: learning to balance, learning to say "no"

StarlitSky4762 April 19th, 2023

Hi there, I have been away for a while. To be honest, it's very difficult for me to balance doing work on this website with other things in life. I find it difficult to say "no" to things I cannot take on. It's very hard to watch people suffer and do nothing about it. I guess I need to learn more balance. I think I will try to get back into hosting weekly groups about DBT, since I found them quite helpful myself.

Living mindfully, and using DBT is largely a lifestyle, one that is easy to forget about since practice doesn't come naturally to me. I think I will draw more boundaries, and stick to doing just the groups. I have done that before and it worked well for the duration I was able to maintain it.
Perhaps I can try doing that again.


The world is so full of pain, and I often feel helpless looking at the enormous mountains of human suffering. I feel small and inadequate to heal the world's pain, since anything I do seems so insignificant on the grand scheme of things.
I have found myself stuck in a
cycle of push hard --> burnout --> try again --> repeat. I need to learn moderation and self-compassion. I teach self-compassion and yet I struggle with it myself. I feel responsible to bear the weight of the world, and yet I find myself collapsing repeatedly.

Forgive me for my errors. Forgive me for my foolish and naive dreams of saving the world. I will seek balance. I will try to find moderation again.

2
globalBraid3744 April 19th, 2023

@StarlitSky4762

It's great to hear that you recognize the need for balance in your life and take steps toward achieving it by drawing boundaries. Remember to prioritize self-compassion, take care of yourself too, and don't feel like you need to bear the world's weight on your own. It might also be helpful to learn to recognize the early signs of upcoming burnout and to get insight into what works for you to feel better.

kindTurtle3738 April 20th, 2023

Setting boundaries is a huge step that is necessary in preventing burnout , becoming overwhelmed, overloaded. I hope this will enable you to start the groups again because they are so helpful to those of us with personality disorders. I learned many ways to cope with many life stressors.

I know too well how hard tt can be to say no, but by saying no, you are helping yourself as well as all that you educate in your groups.

Thank you for trying again.