empty
I have ptsd, bpd, audhd, and really bad dissociation. For context reasons my parents were really abusive and I moved out 9 months ago. I don't recognize myself anymore. I'm doing significantly better but I don't feel like me. I feel empty and like I'm occasionally putting on a mask acting like this new identity. this happened once before, this feeling I mean, after my parents divorce my personality did a complete 180. I don't really know how to explain it but when I think about who I was I just can't form a connection to that person like that wasn't me. I feel lost in my identity and it's bothersome. any advice or anything would be helpful. thank you for reading.
@mawce13
I think in changes in our lives moving out or doing new things we sort of try on a new life / new outlook some changes stick and some not and down the road a bit when we look back we do not recognize ourselves we may feel "who am I ?"
I think it is something that happens sometimes ... it is not a bad thing ... it IMO shows our growth.
sometimes with bpd we split on ourselves, we feel like we never really know who we are or who we have ever been. for me, i always feel lost and like i am nothing without another person. i wear that mask until i realize who i’m with and that i can’t multimask and it all kind of hits me. i get it.
as for having out of body experiences, perhaps you’re experiencing dissociation, depersonalization or derealization. it is a coping mechanism we learned early on in life when things change quickly or we are overwhelmed. a freaky feeling, i know. but knowing that and doing more research to find how to deal with that may be helpful
