Tips

@RaeBaeIscrazy08

That seems like a tough question, and I don't have an answer to it. 😊 But just going to chew on it a bit and brainstorm/free-associate. Would be interested in your thoughts too. 🙏

If I'm understanding the question, you're wondering whether everything that you think is "you" is mainly just shape-shifting to try to please or maintain a positive/conflict-free relationship with someone else.

Some reactions to that:
-I feel like this "shape-shifting" is probably something that everyone does to some degree and it has its uses. So I wouldn't feel comfortable advocating for trying to eliminate it completely when there are probably good reasons for it being there. I know I'll behave slightly differently depending on whether I'm at work, around friends, around family, on 7 Cups with my "listener" hat on (there's certainly a set of cultural norms here saying "listeners should be/do XYZ"), when I'm by myself, etc.
-Maybe a practical way to think about it would be "if I am engaging in this mirroring, does it feel like it's causing a lot of stress/discomfort for me? Is there something else that I'd rather be that I feel like I'm burying or suppressing?"
-If you wanted to figure out what you look like when you're not mirroring or being someone's ideal person, maybe you could try to engineer situations in which there are fewer inhibitions, expectations, or risks to experimenting and letting yourself be anything/everything you want. For example, journaling by yourself, or maybe talking to someone who you trust that's going to be non-judgmental and accepting. Like, maybe could just give yourself that freedom and see what happens.