Support for Borderline?
Is there really support for borderline personality disorder?
For a start, I don't like being told positive platitudes
Sometimes I like to argue
I don't want someone to offer encouragement and say generic positive things to me - I find it patronising
Are there any people who are capable of being real and dealing with someone with bpd? Not a generic do-gooder.. that just doesn't work
@WhatNameidk
Hi there. 💜 If you mean within this specific forum, unfortunately I'm usually the only person responding to most people's posts, so it'll probably boil down to whether or not I'm a good fit.
If I had to make the case for myself, I'd say that I'm an above-average fit for cynical, skeptical, distrustful people. I share having a pet peeve for when listeners jump into generic encouragement instead of trying to understand a person's situation and work within the logic of their perspective. I'm okay with disagreements as long as they don't become viciously personal or turn into a shouting match.
Some negatives about me relative to what you're looking for might be that deep down, my root personality is that I'm a weak-willed, self-coddling, emotionally sensitive, people-pleasing do-gooder. 😊 But I'd say I'm not a "generic" do-gooder, and I'm okay with other people being different from me and doing what works for them.
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If you mean finding listeners in general on 7 Cups for 1-on-1 chats, I'd say it's challenging but possible. The best way to find someone would be to look in Browse Listeners for verified listeners who take chats on BPD (link here) and try to "read the tea leaves" with listener bios/reviews.
I feel like if it were me, the vibe I'd look for if I were trying to find someone who instinctively dislikes platitudes is either "complexity" or "sensitivity". Both types of people will shy away from platitudes; the first because it feels like it disrespects the nuances of lived experience, and the second because they've probably been personally hurt many times by other people using those same platitudes on them when they're suffering.
If you have specific needs that differ from what most people are looking for (which it feels like that might be the case), I'd say that even if you find a really amazing, high-quality listener who might be a very good long-term fit for you... there could still be some bumpiness upfront with:
1) expressing your needs and what you're looking for
2) training that listener to go against some of their own deeply ingrained habits and possibly break a lot of the "rules" they've unconsciously adopted that work in 95% of chats
3) being forgiving/patient enough to persist through an initial period of roughness where they're going to make a lot of mistakes if what you're asking for is different from what people usually ask for