Obsession with BPD
I have Borderline Personality Disorder.
I really struggle with obsession over people - right now it’s a coworker. I love her to death as a person. Unfortunately, I feel like I’m pushing her away because of how needy I am and how much I feel like a need to talk to her.
I have anxiety if she’s not texting me and she hasn’t spoken to me a lot today. I’m scared I did something wrong.
Does anyone have advice or resources for this stuff?
Thanks.
@samuelk08
Hello there samuelk08, welcome!
Sorry to hear about your struggle, it surely is difficult to deal with the emotions you get from the obsession you develop.
From your tell it seems that you are aware of this dynamic of yours that leads you in going too far with some relationships. I think your awareness is the first step to improve, because realizing your pattern open the door to explore some useful coping mechanisms. What do you think you could do to take things slower while you interact with someone you like? How can you help your overthinking about them? Is there any grounding technique you could use to help it?
Grounding techniques help control the overthinking by turning attention away from thoughts, memories, or worries, and refocusing on the present moment.
Maybe you can give it a try and see if it helps you refocusing when your emotions drive you away.
Here is a guid/example on how to apply the grounding technique:
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*What are 5 things you can see? Look for small details such as a pattern on the ceiling, the way light reflects off a surface, or an object you never noticed. *What are 4 things you can feel? Notice the sensation of clothing on your body, the sun on your skin, or the feeling of the chair you are sitting in. Pick up an object and examine its weight, texture, and other physical qualities. *What are 3 things you can hear? Pay special attention to the sounds your mind has tuned out, such as a ticking clock, distant traffic, or trees blowing in the wind. *What are 2 things you can smell? Try to notice smells in the air around you, like an air freshener or freshly mowed grass. You may also look around for something that has a scent, such as a flower or an unlit candle. *What is 1 thing you can taste? Carry gum, candy, or small snacks for this step. Pop one in your mouth and focus your attention closely on the flavors. |
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Hope people experiencing the same will join to help with their personal experience by sharing what helps them coping with it. Sending you good vibes 💙 |
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@samuelk08
@MeaningfulSilence also has some wonderful questions. In my experience, logic will seems most reasonable to me, while to others it is not the same. So take to mind, the perspective and understanding others will have is not always the same we have.
@MeaningfulSilence provided some marvelous techniques, I have used a few of them myself many times. I had also found the counting base two [2, 4, 8, 16, 32, etc] has helped when in stressful or higher than normal anxiety moments.
Please keep in touch and let us know how things are going.