Borderline personality and insomnia
I am creating this thread so that we can share some information on insomnia and borderline personality
as we all know for any mental illness adequate good quality sleep, good exercise and good food are a must. But in my case I am not able to come over sleeping.
When I am alone in bed I am always feeling scared, lonely and I am not at ease. Sometimes it feels like I am not accustomed to sleeping or I don’t find sleep normal. Like I have observed I sleep fine when there is sunlight or in the day I am not able to sleep at night!!
I have some trauma associated with sleep too. One thing is my mom used to force me to sleep in childhood and that made me resist sleep and eventually not sleeping was like some kind of joyful escape or celebration or something
the other is my dad who was an alcoholic would come home in childhood and would expect us to be asleep. So we would be scared and trying hard to sleep or atleast pretend we were sleeping for a long time until he wen to sleep
all these feelings have made my sleep patterns pathetic so apart from the sleep issues I am now habituated not to sleep early. My insomnia is insane. I can’t sleep even with sleep meds. Anyone going through please do reply and since I have bpd any material on this would go a long way
@sensitiveme00 I'm so sorry to hear of your troubles. I unfortunately can't relate to the insomnia as that's one thing I don't suffer from. But I can commiserate with you about having an alcoholic father. I remember several fights between my parents growing up, to the point where my mom would leave with my baby brother and I and walk several miles to my grandparents house. The final straw came when I was in high school and finally stood up to him and told him if he touched my mom again I'd kill him. I think that was a turning point for the family, my mom kicked him out that week and after a year or two on his own he took the initiative and sobered up. We eventually had an ok relationship after that.
I'm now suffering with my own alcohol issues that I'm trying to get under control. I guess my point is just to say that you're not alone, and You've found a great place here at 7cups. I truly hope you find the peace you want and deserve.
