ugh
it’s so upsetting that i have feelings of being disloyal. i love this guy so much i haven’t even known him a year. but i resent him i feel as if he doesn’t love me. i feel extremely paranoid that he is cheating on me every second of the day. even though he said i’m the only one for him. but everyone lies. we have a small age difference so i have to leave them in a month and i can’t bear it. so i feel like we’re falling off…and then my ex texts me. he’s in town and wants to see me. i get a gut wrenching feeling when the thought of the person i like not being here. what will i do without them???? they have made my entire life different. changed me as a person. so i feel that i should see my ex and talk and keep him close so when i have to leave my soulmate, i’ll have someone else to drown my feelings of pain and heart break, and the aching inside of me. being left alone with me thoughts is scary. so i can forget with my ex and forget the immense hurt i’ll feel.
the whole point is i’m thinking of seeing my ex while i’m still talking to my current partner. i don’t want to but i know i can’t deal with a piece of me being ripped a away.
@conscientiousLion13 Hi! How are you? It sounds like there's a lot going on that you are trying to work through. May I ask how far you and your partner will be separated and how long it will be before you see them again? I know distance is really tough, but I think it can be looked at as an opportunity to miss each other and make your hearts grow fonder! Do you have reason to suspect that he is cheating? It sounds like maybe you are struggling with some past relationship trauma and it can be hard to break out of that cycle in a new relationship. I've always liked journaling if there is something that I need to work through. I definitely wouldn't see your ex because you don't want that extra stress with your relationship. I am wishing you luck!