route to diagnosis

I haven't been officially diagnosed with any disorder because I haven't found a good enough therepist to stick to for more than 5 weeks. I've always felt different since I was a little girl, I've never been able to connect and bond with people or firends like everyone else. I never understood it, it still baffles me after 27 years of living, especially as a female where you see really tight groups of friends. Don't get me wrong, I can be social and nice and people like me, but I purposely keep everything very surface level. I remember experiencing rejection as a child and in middle school, because obviously girls can be mean and after that I just told myself it wasnt important to me. It's still not important to me, and I've always been extrememly quick to ditch people for minor slights or just because I wasn't in a state to want to engage in conversation.

Anyway, I never really looked into BDP until recently and I feel like I check off a lot of boxes, I've been quick to anger and react emotionally to things since I was a little girl. I cry for the most ridiculous reasons sometimes and have since I was little, I remember my mom telling me "stop being that way" or "there's no need to cry."

as far as impulsuvity, well my credit card is pretty scary and i have a tendency to self medicate with drugs and alchohol

I've never threatened to harm myself, or wanted to, more like I just with sometimes I could keep sleeping or keep dreaming. I also have never had any long term goals or imagined a future for myself.

I dont want to ramble on, so I guess, what I want to know is, whats the best way to explore possibly being BPD and what kind of health professional is best suited to help me find my way.