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am I healed or just numb?
cutadinda August 3rd, 2023
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i was diagnosed with BPD back in 2019. Early 2023 I was in a very bad state, having multiple on-and-off relationship and stressed out at work to the point of severe burnout. I took a travel leave for 3 months and now that I'm back to my hometown, I feel unattached and numb. My friends at work said that I'm not getting involved in any drama anymore (because I actively avoiding any kind of romantic relationship now). I go straight home after work and spent most of my time watching tv shows and knitting. It feels peaceful, but I also notice something else is changing in me. I'm starting to get irritated by my friends trying to make plans with me, to the point where I snapped at my friend on the phone just because she's asking where I was so she can join me. Even towards friends that I usually reach out to, when they messaged me back I felt anger for not getting back to me sooner. I'm having one less problem by not getting involved in situationships anymore and my life feels calmer, but I feel like angry at my friends more as well. Is this what healing supposed to feel like?

2
patientSky1754 August 3rd, 2023
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Everyone's healing journey is unique, and what you're experiencing may be a part of that process.

It's totally normal to feel detached and numb after going through a lot of stress and burnout. Taking time off to relax and do things you enjoy, like watching TV shows and knitting, is a great way to practice self-care. Just make sure these activities aren't becoming a way to avoid socializing completely.

If your friends reach out to make plans and it irritates you, it might be a sign that you need some personal space and it's OK to communicate your needs to them honestly and calmly, so they understand that you appreciate their friendship but need some time for yourself right now.

MeaningfulSilence August 3rd, 2023
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@cutadinda

Hello there cutadinda!

It's surely positive that you are experiencing more inner peace doing things you like. If someone annoys you it's surely good to have your me time moments to rebalance your emotions.

You can find your coping mechanisms to deal with triggers. Be patient with yourself and your emotions, always focus on your wellbeing first!

(I plan to launch soon a Forum Discussions about BPD, it's an occasion to talk about it and share, hope to see you there 🌺)

Take care!

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