Ruining my own life

I started a new job a month ago, but I don’t think I can stay any longer. I was so excited at first because this is my dream job. I’ve been working towards getting this job for years. Now, I’m absolutely miserable because my ability to control myself and my emotions is getting worse, so I’ve been making stupid and dangerous decisions while working.

All my coworkers are obviously uncomfortable around me because of my extreme stress, and now they’re getting angry and passive-aggressive at me because of my stupid stunts. I try not to do stupid things, but I genuinely lose control at times.

This job is what I’ve always wanted, but I shouldn’t be here. I tried so hard, but I can’t handle it. I’m going to have a meltdown in front of all my coworkers at this rate.