Poetry
I’m tired of not having the words
To go through 10 emotions in two minutes
To feel the need to talk
But not sure about what
To always feeling left and alone
Yet saying I want that?
I’m single now, hasn’t been a month
She wants me to stay put
But I’m ready to jump again
It can’t be that bad right?
From person, to thing, to person, to thing?
I’m trying to fill the void
I’m ready in seconds
I can go on
I can go off
Whatever you want I do
Sometimes I wish I can be me, if there is a me
Not a need of you and being what you chose for me to be
Though I like that stability
Even if I think you’re gunna leave
I hope one day I can have the right words to describe this
@StarrieSaturn
Hey, thanks for sharing. 💜 Some reactions I had while reading it:
- Makes sense that it'd be hard to put words to what's happening when emotions are changing so rapidly
- Also make sense what you're saying of feeling like there's this void you're trying to fill and this need, and that leads to jumping from one thing to another, whatever will fill it, and whatever you need to be to feel that stability of being connected to something
You mentioned that part of you wants to be alone. Is that because of what you mentioned of "Sometimes I wish I can be me, if there is a me/Not a need of you and being what you chose for me to be"? Like wondering if it's possible to exist without someone else and what that would look like?
@QuietMagic thank you so much for responding, and to answer your question, yes. I tend to find it very hard to feel things and try to be someone without having someone to mirror, but I don’t wanna be like them or lose myself, but I don’t feel like myself or that I even am someone, I feel like pieces of those around me and what’s expected of me. If that makes sense T^T
@StarrieSaturn
That does make sense--like your sense of self is based on trying to meet other people's expectations, and when that's not there it's like there isn't anything leftover.