I cannot
I've got BPD and PTSD so hard I can't even read these threads without thinking I was awful to people I treated very well. I'm like crap...I'll never be worthy of a relationship.
I’m sorry you’re in pain! Things will get better. You will learn skills and self-awareness and you will learn how to better treat others. Hang in there!
@LeadWithLove, hi, I live with BPD and C-PTSD, as well. It's a difficult combination, as triggers can often lead to an emotional response that's difficult to control. People around me often have no idea what is actually going on inside, and what my history is, and it's difficult to keep everything pent up until it's safe to release. I think one of the most helpful things I learned with therapy is to learn to be kind and compassionate with myself - even when I make mistakes.
Although I have good days and bad days, I'm also trying to remember the good days and to focus more on those. Living with BPD isn't easy and often involves having a big support mechanism around us. There's also much better treatment available that people have found really helpful in managing it.
Both myself and my partner live with BPD and my partner felt the same way - she thought she would never have a relationship, but here we are, 2 and 1/2 years later and still in love!
BPD makes things harder, but not impossible, I'm sure you will get there in time :)