How Do You Not Push People Away that Obviously Care/Gain Emotional Permanence?
I am having such a hard time in my relationship. God forbid my partner words one thing incorrectly, it immediately puts me into a split. Mind you, we only have these issues when we're away from each other. If we're not together, I'm almost always splitting, dissociating, etc. However, when we are together in person, we never argue, there are no negative thoughts, etc. Everything is stable and safe. I wouldn't call him a favorite person, due to the fact that that my moods aren't dependent on his, I'm not afraid of him leaving (he's more afraid that I will than vice versa), I don't idolize him, etc. But he is unfortunately all I have. I try to make friends here, but no one ever wants to be my friend. Anyways, we want to move in together, but finances are horrible right now. I'm not sure what to do in the meantime to avoid these episodes or to gain emotional permanence? He cares for me so much and loves me, but I never feel loved unless he's physically right in front of me. The episodes absolutely horrible and it takes everything in me to not break up with him because I'm just so tired of feeling triggered constantly.