Do you ever feel like...
Do you ever feel like, because of your Borderline, that you're never going to be able to love properly? I'm always scared that I'm never going to find someone I can have a loving, long-term relationship with that I won't "mess up." Does anyone feel this way too? Could really use some encouragement :(
@pawsdash i'm not sure if i have a borderline but i researched what it means and i can almost relate to every list of symptom. and i feel you. 😔
@pawsdash when i feel so sad about it. i just think of my family because i'd like to believe that whatever happens they'll will always stick with me. or i guess because they have no choice.
All. The. Time.
I even went to far as to stop dating altogether last year. I keep telling myself it's because I need to be happy alone before I can be happy with someone else. But, in reality, I think no one deserves to be subjected to my crazy.
@Elysium821 The idea that you have to love yourself before you love others is complete BS in my opinion. Just because you're working on yourself doesn't make you undeserving of love! If anything I think being in a relationship, being loved, makes you feel better about yourself. You have another person to help you grow and honestly my boyfriend's love makes me love myself. If he can see me as perfect, I have to believe that I am.
I don't have borderline. But I do have Bipolar. I am twice divorced. I can say both times neither of us was perfect-but the downfalls of the relationships were my spouses fault-I went to therapy to help me understand why I fell for destructive people,then married them,then stayed whn most healthy people would have left!
when someone cheats on you,starts drinking/doing drugs/quitting jobs every month-and you try counseling-it's time to get out. Or,staying with someone who is controlling and abusive-time to get out.
despite all this, I believe there is someone out there for me. I just need to believe that I deserve a good person and check out their behavior carefully.
@caughtinthemiddle I'm so glad you see your worth. I've noticed a common theme amongst those of us who suffer with mental health issues. We are so eager to assure everyone else they deserve the world, but so quick to dismiss our own worth.
@pawsdash I've been half-joking with my friends that I'm incapable of forming healthy romantic relations because, whenever I like someone, I obsessed over them until I get 'too close' (feel like I'm being too clingy or too vulnerable), then something kind of snaps inside me and can't talk to them or even think about them without having a panic attack. Even online relationships!
I've tried to rationalise my reasoning to two main stems of thought:
1. I like them and I don't want to lose them, but if they see what I'm like underneath, they'll hate me, and
2. What if they become aware/I divert from this whole personality I've constructed to please them?
BUT. I'm trying. I'm trying to get better at, intimacy or whatever. It's hard, but maybe there's still a chance we'll each find love.
