Borderline Personality Disorder - facts
Hey everyone! While I have been gallivanting around 7cups I have come across a few people who have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, otherwise known as BPD. I also have been diagnosed with this and it took me a long time to actually understand what it was and how it affects me personally. I thought I would try to give something back by researching and writing a post about exactly what it is and how people can be affected by it to help both people who have been diagnosed and for listeners to understand what the disorder is so they can help members and guests to the best of their ability. Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or psychologist and while i have researched all in this post i am not qualified enough in this area to use it as a way to diagnose people or to advise if they may have BPD. Also this is for understanding purposes only and not for others to use as concrete evidence.
WARNING: This may be triggering for some people to read or hard for some people to accept, if you are struggling with this i encourage you to connect with a listener and get some support on the subject.
SUMMARY
Borderline Personality Disorder, otherwise known as BPD, is a mental illness that mainly affects a persons ability to healthily control their emotions, maintain relationships and control their impulsivity. It became an official diagnosis in 1980 and is undergoing intensive research. Less than 1% of the population is diagnosed with BPD and it is estimated that 3 quarters of people diagnosed are women. In 2008 the month of May was declared to be Borderline Personality Disorder awareness month in America and many people wear a grey ribbon or band during the month to show their support.The name borderline has come from the theory that BPD patients are on the border of neurosis and psychosis however there is a lot of controversy over the name in the BPD community as they feel it is misleading.
People are diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder if they have five or more of these symptoms and if the symptoms have a significant impact on their everyday life:
?They have emotions that are up and down with feelings of emptiness and often anger.
?They find it difficult to make and maintain relationships.
?They have an unstable sense of identity, such as thinking differently about themselves depending on who they are with.
?They take risks or do things without thinking about the consequences.
?They harm themselves or often think about harming themselves.
?They fear being abandoned, rejected or being alone.
?They sometimes believe in things that are not real or true (called delusions) or see or hear things that are not really there (called hallucinations).
Professionals find it hard to diagnose BPD as it covers such a wide range of behaviours and can present itself in many ways.
Signs and Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder
Emotions:
People who suffer from BPD feel emotions easier, for longer and more intensely than others. Their negative emotions, such as anger and sadness, are normally what they struggle to deal with the most. They may repeatedly reignite their feelings, which can prolong their reactions, and they can take a long time to recover from an intense emotion. They are especially sensitive to rejection, isolation and perceived failure. Also, their emotions can change and swing rapidly throughout the day, without warning. However, while BPD patients feel joy intensely, they normally swing between either depression and anxiety, or anger and anxiety. People with BPD are very prone to dysphoria, which is when a person experiences intense feelings of depression, anxiety, and in some cases, lack of identity. This can lead to self destructiveness, feelings of victimisation and suicidal behaviour. Also, some people may learn to shut negative emotions down to protect themselves from their intense feelings. This leads to them feeling numb and emotionless and sometimes lacking empathy. It also affects their decision making skills in everyday life. This is called dissociation.
Dissociation:
Dissociation is an intense form of zoning out or daydreaming. It mainly occurs due to experiencing a painful event or experiencing something that triggers the memory of a distressing event. It protects against and provides a temporary relief from experiencing intense emotion and unwanted behavioural impulses. However, this can cause blocking and blunting ordinary emotions, preventing the information in these emotions to get through, which in turn hindrances everyday life; such as decision making and focusing on tasks. Sometimes it is possible to notice when someone is dissociating, as they may become unresponsive, distracted, emotionless or expressionless. However, a lot of the time it is gone unnoticed, as the person can still function and talk while dissociating.
Behaviour:
People who are diagnosed with BPD are often impulsive because it gives them immediate relief from their emotional pain, they often don?t care or don?t think about the consequence of their actions until after they have acted on the impulse.These impulses can include:
?Drug abuse.
?Alcohol abuse.
?Eating disorders.
?Unprotected and indiscriminate sex.
?Quitting jobs.
?Self-harm.
?Running away from home.
Although it may give a quick remedy to their emotional pain, they develop shame and guilt for their actions, which they can?t handle so they use their impulses. This soon becomes a continuing cycle. As the cycle goes on, the stronger and more extreme the impulsive behaviour and emotions become. The impulsive behaviours also become an automatic response to anything they feel they may not be able to cope with. This makes it extremely hard to stop.
Relationships:
People who suffer from BPD find interpersonal relationships difficult. This is because they use what is called black and white thinking. They feel intense joy and gratitude at perceived expressions of kindness, and intense anger and sadness at perceived criticism. This can lead to idealising and devaluing people, making it hard to maintain a relationship. Although people with BPD strongly desire intimacy, they are normally insecure and avoidant. This makes them doubt peoples intentions, and can view the world as dangerous and unkind. Although it is difficult, many people with BPD develop strong emotional bonds with others. However, if these relationships suffer a breakdown and can no longer continue, it can be hard to accept the loss. The pain is very much like the grief we feel when a loved one has passed away, but the emotions don?t seem to fade with time and in some cases, it enhances the need to keep trying to salvage the relationship, even if the other person isn't interested anymore.
Self-harm and Suicidal Behaviour:
Self-harm is part of the diagnostic criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder. Managing and controlling this can be challenging, as it can also be an impulse they suffer with. Self-injury can be with or without suicidal intent.People who are not suicidal may do it because:
?They need a way to express their anger.
Thank you for posting this I would be considered the type calledpetulant if all that stuff is true I go from being numb to full on rage sometimes I hate it..
No problem, i'm glad it seems to have opened your eyes a little more. I am hoping to write more about bpd and go into alot more detail about different aspects, if you would like to know more or have any ideas on what you would like to know about feel free to pm me and i'll see what i can do. Thank you so much for taking the time to read it! :)
Thank you for sharing this and helping raise awareness of BPD now known as "Emotionally Unstable Personality - Borderline Type". I don't feel either name represents the disorder. I've also looked into Theodore Millon's subtypes in detail so it's good to know someone else has as no one else seems to realise there are subtypes. Sometimes I wish I hadn't done so much research on the disorder because it scares me when I realise I have been suffering decades with it yet only recently diagnosed.
I knew I was diffrent by age 6 now I'm 43...only getting worse
I am sorry to hear you have been struggling for so long! Researching can be great but othertimes knowing it all can weigh you down and can all seem very overwhelming. I'd like to stress that this disorder is not who you are as a person but just part of your personality, you don't need to be defined by it! If you are struggling though i would like to encourage you to see a professional who may be able to help you find a successful treatment for you. I am hoping to write more about bpd and go into a lot more detail about different aspects, if you would like to know more or have any ideas on what you would like to know about feel free to pm me and i'll see what i can do. Thank you so much for taking the time to read it! :)
Thanks for posting this
No problem! :) I am hoping to write more about bpd and go into alot more detail about different aspects, if you would like to know more or have any ideas on what you would like to know about feel free to pm me and i'll see what i can do. Thank you so much for taking the time to read it! :)
Great post! Here is another take on mood disorders in general. Cheers. :)
Understanding and Living With Mood Disorders
Have you ever felt like you just couldn't get out of bed? Like you had no energy and nothing to live for?
I?m going to talk to about what the American Psychiatric Association refers to as mood disorders. I?m going to delve into some heavy, technical psychiatric terminology regarding mood disorders and explain what it means so you can understand, so don?t fall asleep, don?t freak out. E-Dude will shine a light for you. I think it is very important that we have an understanding of psychiatric definitions of mental disorders because many of us are diagnosed with one and we take powerful medications as a result of these definitions. Knowledge is the path to making informed health care decisions. Therefore, I hope to empower you today by both taking the technical aspects of mood disorders, and making them more understandable. I will also discuss the experience of having a mood disorder as well.
To begin with, in order to talk intelligently about mood disorders, we need to define what a mood is.
Dictionary.com defines mood as: ?a state or quality of feeling, at a given time.? Often when we are happy we say, we are in a good mood, and when we are sad, we say the reverse. Psychiatrists also have terminology that describes negative moods. Let?s discuss some of those terms now.
"Affect" is how mood is expressed, often with gestures of facial expressions.
"Labile mood" refers to rapidly fluctuating mood mood states, between high and low, e.g. one minute you're laughing and the next you're crying
?Elevated mood? refers to feelings of confidence, energy, and feelings of well-being
?Mania or manic mood? is a mood state characterized by extremely intense feelings of being ?on top of the world? and being very energized. Sometimes people in a manic state display psychotic behavior; that is, they have false beliefs, can be paranoid, and even see or hear things that are not there. They may have a decreased need for sleep, talk very quickly, have increased sex drive, and engage in impulsive or reckless behavior.
?low mood? by contrast refers to being sad or depressed. Feelings of low energy, helplessness, hopelessness, thoughts of death and suicide, increased need to sleep or sleeplessness, fatigue, loss of pleasure, loss of interest, and crying are all signs of this mood state.
So What ARE Mood Disorders???
Mood disorders (a.k.a. affective disorders) are marked by difficulty with emotional regulation and incongruence between one?s feelings and the social context or the intensity and frequency one?s feelings are outside of the range of what is considered typical. Major depressive disorder is marked by low mood, lack of energy, and feelings of sadness.
Bipolar I is marked by manic or mixed episodes that can occur with hypomania or major depression.
Bipolar II is marked by hypomanic episodes alternating with major depressive episodes. The key differences between bipolar I and II is that I includes one or more manic episodes but II does not.
Hypomania literally means ?below manic? or behavior and feelings that represent elevated mood and expansive behavior without the extremes of grandiosity, delusions or hallucinations that characterize full-blown manic episodes. Hypomania is also the key feature of cyclothymia, a disorder with similarities to bipolar, but with decreased intensity in the range of highs and lows experienced.
Dysthymia, by contrast is the counterpart to major depressive disorder. Symptoms of dysthymia differ from major depression in that major depression is more episodic and intense in nature and dysthymia symptoms are less intense, but experienced on a more or less daily basis. Major depression and dysthymia can co-occur simultaneously in the same individual. When this is the case, it is referred to as ?double depression.?
Enough Psych Talk E-dude. Tell Us About YOUR Experience of Mood Disorders
In terms of my own experience of bipolar depression, imagine how it feels to be numb to the world, to feel like your arms and legs are filled with lead, that your usually sharp mental faculties are shrouded in a thick fog.
I like to tell people that peoples? experience of depression is highly individual. Some people become suicidal. Others cry. Some people have symptoms that vary depending on their age and culture of origin.
The depressed version of me aches to be invisible, pines for people to forget that I exist. That version of me feels intense guilt over not being able to deliver the performance of a fun and entertaining person, for failing to live up to peoples? expectations, for being slow and stupid. That can last for weeks or months at a time and be very debilitating and dehumanizing.
I?m sure at least some of you out there have seen the old Star wars movies. Well, remember how, in the Empire Strikes Back, Han Solo is frozen into this thick black brick that looks like a Hershey bar with almonds? The ?carbonite freeze? Ring any bells?
Once he was frozen, C3P0 comments on how his vital signs are good and he seems, ?incredibly well protected.?
Well, I sometimes fantasize about entering a cocoon like that, a suspended-animation, coma-like state where I?m hermetically sealed off from the world, alive but hibernating until my mood can thaw me out of my giant chocolate bar that I?ve been entombed in.
Pretty sweet when you think about it huh? Sorry, bad pun.
I also sometimes feel as though I've lost my voice, and lose all desire and motivation to speak to people. Sometimes, when I'm in this state I wish I was a monk who has taken a lifelong vow of silence. Usually, this feeling is a signal to me that my depression has become very bad, and that I may need outside help to turn it around.
What About Your other Moods?
On the other hand, while I do not experience manic episodes, I do experienced elevated mood states where I am incredibly energized, focused, and productive. During one such state, I wrote and published a book in the final two weeks of graduate school. During such times, I can present as confident, personable, witty, charming and charismatic. This is the state of being I am always hoping to return to, the ?real me.? That version of myself is fun, funny and has a lot of love and empathy to give others.
But who is the real me, anyway? Do you know? I sure don't.
The difficulty with moods is that you never know when they will change. And even when I?ve been depressed, I have to face the world?at least minimally.
The challenge of bipolar is to embrace and integrate both poles of the illness, and learn to accept them both as valid parts of my whole being. It is difficult to not hate the depression, but it helps me to think of a parable from the Old Testament Bible from the Book of Ecclesiastes Psalm 23 that I?m sure many of you are familiar with as it has been oft repeated and incorporated into folk songs.
To everything there is a season,
And a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
5 A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
10 A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
15 A time to love, and a time to hate;
A time of war, and a time of peace.
I think people with bipolar can take comfort in the wisdom of this beautiful poem that teaches us that things in life come in cycles. Our moods are no different, as is the expression of creative energy.
As a writer, I know there are times when I am ?on? and full of ideas and drive to write, but there are also times when no ideas come, when my mind is blank, and my pen lies dormant. Accepting this, rather than fighting it, is the quickest path to renewing those life force energies that make us feel good, that sustain us and our relationships with others. Self-acceptance and forgiveness are difficult at first, but ultimately these are the lights in the darkness of despair that will guide us out of the tunnel that seems to have no end or beginning.
So I say: Forgive yourself. If you cannot forgive yourself, accept yourself. If you cannot accept yourself, than bide your time patiently, for your time will come when better days arrive.
This is lovely! Thank you so much for posting it and for the educational rundown.
Oops! I read this as "bipolar." I'm sorry. My dyslexia sometimes get the better of me. Sorry for the irrelevant post. :)
Your post was very much worth my time regardless of the relevancy of your subject matter in conjunction with BPD. It was well written, thorough, thoughtful, heartfelt, informative and interesting. I'm happy I had the chance to stumble upon it. Keep writing:) Your insight, knowledge and way with words is an inspiration:)
I am self destructive , I understand it clearer now ,
I kinda new the "black and white" of my disorder but these makes it more understandable. Thank you for posting this
Great post! ihave only for the past 3 years been trying to figure out whutt this whole bpd is that i had been diagnosed with as a young lad. jus understanding it has helped me over the years but , overall i kno its something im gonna have to live with. Great info though.
I hope to write post about bpd in males as males have certain traits with bpd, I will tag you on here when I do so
cool. i look forward to it.
cool. i look forward to it.
can we be all 4 subtypes, i mean i have all that symptoms and i'm diagnosed with bpd officially ??
Thank you for posting. I do not have BPD but have been struggling with a family who may have BPD. This post brought some much needed clarity.