Advice for when a relationship ends.
I've been in a relationship for the last 5 years, I was 17 when we started dating and I am almost 23 now. We basically grew up together and created a life together and had goals for our future. Then out of the blue he left me. He said he needed to find himself on his own. When he left he took all of me with him. I poured myself into him and now I no longer know who I am. I am shattered. He wasn't supposed to leave me. Out of all the people in my life he wasn't supposed to abandon me. I feel lost and like my life is completely out of control. I no longer see a future and when I look through my past all I see is pain and instability. My relationship felt like the best thing I had in my life even though I created some complications in that. I don't know how to handle this pain in a positive manner. I've self harmed, thought about suicide, been in a stabilization centre, turned to alcohol. I just don't know what to do. I have no hope. I feel like my life is completely over. And the pain I feel rips me apart.
Can anyone offer some advice?
Thank you.
@PerfectlyImperfectt21
Best thing you can do for yourself is to not to beat yourself up or blame yourself for his actions. Build a relationship with yourself first.
@PerfectlyImperfectt21
Hello there,
It sounds like you are going through such an unsettling time in your life. You probably have an overwhelming amount of emotions cluttering your mind and causing you to feel like your life is out of control. Everything you once knew has been taken from you so it's not surprising you feel like your life is out of control.
The feelings of feeling so low that suicide could be an option and turning to alcohol are caused by escapism - you do not want to process those uncomfortable feelings so instead you numb them. Have you ever felt suicidal before? Struggled with drinking problems before?
Dealing with a breakup is like coping with grief... you grieve the old you, the lost partnership, the lost routine... your entire life has changed and it is terrifying but gradually you will get through this... day by day - moment by moment.
Lisa
What are you doing for you right now? Even if it is something small :)
My question is still - how do you cope with the intolerable pain of the present moment? It might pass an hour from now, or five minutes, or come in waves. But right now, it hurts like hell. How to cope with the right now without losing one's grip? How to control and manage unbearable pain of loss ...... Might be what they are asking. I've experienced this before. I don't have any answers ........