Need input/advice
Didn't know I had anxious attachment style until I met this new friend on vacation. We are both the same gender. We clicked so well that I thought she was my soulmate. I find out she doesn't like compliments nor does she like anything emotional. We stayed in contact through emails but she was slowly distancing herself from me until I became so anxious. I think I am trying to be friends with someone who has a dismissive attachment styles. I feel we are polar opposites. I am emotional and like to get close to someone whereas she is not emotional and enjoy her free time when she wants. What triggered my anxiety was when she disappeared for an unusual amount of time that I thought something happened to her after a 10 day trek on a mountain trip. My anxiety lead me to call the police to check on her. She made the reason of being away on another vacation she didn't tell me about. This was after her 10 day trek vacation she told me about was completed. I never imagined she would go on another vacation. She thinks I acted crazy and wants no contact with me anymore. Now I am not sure what to do. I have not contacted her for 3 weeks. I have been working on myself to not be so attached & emotionally needy. I want to be a better friend to her now that I know what she doesn't like. I enjoy hearing her adventures & she is smart. I read that after 6 weeks a dismissive person will start to miss someone. I am planning to write to her then. Is this salvageable? Any Advice?
Hi there @Temesgen9
I am really sorry your post went unanswered for such a long time... This subcommunity has been experiencing some up and down and has gone through a few changes lately, and even if this is not an excuse I hope it can reassure you that your post remaining unanswered was nothing personal.
How are you doing? How are things with your friend?
Hi @admaiorasemper
Thank you for your comment. I didn't take it personally. At the time, I was new to this, and I didn't have any expectations.
As for the friendship, it ended with me making an attempt to work things out & her not wanting to. In the beginning, I thought she wanted to be my friend so badly. Now, it seems, she wants to be my friend so badly not.
It is so strange. I will never know the truth to if she enjoyed her time with me, since she doesn't seem to be able to express her feelings. Psychology tells me for someone like her emotions bring her pain. I am the type of friend she wants, but I am the type she shouldn't have... Vice versa for me.
I wish we were not just another statistical point in psychology. I wish people were more civil, friendly, and peace seekers.
@Temesgen9
I also wish people were more civil, friendly, and peace seekers as you say. I believe some are. Regardless, we have no control over others... so I'd say, let's just try and be more civil, friendly, and peace seekers ourselves :)
I definitely believe we are not just a statistical point in psychology. I am not. You are not. Noone suffering from a PD or any other mental issue is 
@admaiorasemper
It seems like you are denying that mental illnesses exist. Nevertheless, when I say we follow statistics there are positive & negative statistics. A positive would be the normal stages of baby growth. A negative statistics would be characteristics of how you/someone beaves if you/they had a defined behavior & you react or it effects you in a negative way. So much as to know how exactly the rest of your life plays out.
I believe knowledge is power. Knowing what I know gives me strength to get off that negative statistics path. According to psychology, we all have attachment styles & that depends on how we were raised as children. 20% of us are dismissive attachment styles, 20% attached and 60% secure. And those outside of secure can work towards being secure.
@Temesgen9
Oh I am not denying mental illnesses, I am sorry if it seems that I am. What I meant, is that we are all more than what we are suffering from. Right as what happens with physical illnesses. Nobody would ever think of me in terms of a woman with the flu and nothing else for instance. But they may be drawn to think I am a woman with BPD and nothing else.
I definitely share your view on knowledge.
@admaiorasemper
I understand what you meant now. I had completed miss read the last portion of your previous comment. I am sorry about that. Yes, for sure. Everyone wants to be remembered in a way that is positive. It is human nature to categorize people by gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, disabilities, class, profession, age, and whatever way we can.
At the end of the day, we all have to respect one another.
I think the world would be a better place if we all accept /embrace who we are, and work towards being the best version of ourselves.
