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I need advice

tin1027 March 2nd, 2022

I'm scared of judgement to the point that I barely even talk to people online. I feel lonely and I don't think I'm a very likeable person, I have nobody to talk to about my feelings.

I'm too afraid of being judged. I've been judged by people that I tried to build up the 'courage' to talk, open up a bit more and try be myself, I pulled back and felt extremely hurt and then...I felt this sharp pain in my chest, I felt shame, self hatred and rejected. Please, how do I help myself overcome this without an counselor at the moment. I want to talk to people online and 'in real life' more openly and with less fear of being judged but too many times has it led to me to feeling left out, worthless and rejected. Does anyone have any tips? Id appreciate it a lot, thank you

4
QuietMagic March 3rd, 2022

@tin1027

Hi--thanks for taking the risk of sharing here. 💜 That makes a lot of sense that you'd be afraid of sharing or opening up, whether in real life or online, if whenever you have done that you've been judged. And then when that happens, it hurts a lot and it leads to you feeling really ashamed and like you've been rejected since the things you're sharing are sensitive or matter a lot to you.

So as a result, there's kind of this tension between "I feel lonely and want to reach out to people" and "I don't want to reach out and be rejected since that hurts even worse than being lonely".

That's where a site like 7 Cups feels like it could potentially be really helpful. If you're able to find even just one or two people to talk and share things with who are understanding and non-judgmental, maybe that could help start to establish a sense of, "It's okay for me to think/feel the way that I do and it's possible for at least some people to understand that." That's probably one of the main benefits that therapy would probably provide is just being able to have a secure/safe connection with someone.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201802/healing-attachment-issues

If you'd like to talk to a listener, HERE is a list of experienced listeners who accept 1-on-1 chats. Alternatively, if you'd like to talk to me specifically, you can use my booking form HERE to schedule a chat with me.

wittyCake5344 April 1st, 2022

Hi. I kinda get what you feel. I feel the same. If you want we can online

1 reply
wittyCake5344 April 1st, 2022

I meant we can chat online.

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wittyCake5344 April 1st, 2022

My advice would be one tip i used and it worked a little. I pushed myself hard to do this one. I practiced looking people straight in the eyes and count to five. It was super wierd, but it helped. I felt like i was suggesting to those people: - here i am, don't try to ignore my existence cause i clearly exist. I know it sounds crazy