Avoidant Personality Disorder
Honours Project by TinyTea.
Through this article, I hope to raise awareness on Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD), an often overlooked and serious personality disorder.
What is Avoidant Personality Disorder?
Avoidant Personality Disorder can be very difficult to endure, people are often:
1. Afraid talk to others.
2. Fearful of going outside.
3. Constantly worried about being judged.
4. Unable to trust even the closest of friends and family.
Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD) is a rare mental disorder which can lead to anxiety and depression. It is characterized by the avoidance of events, social interactions, situations involving others, and relationships due to the constant fear of rejection, criticism, or embarrassment. Often times, those diagnosed with AvPD do not want to be alone and would rather be closer to others, however cannot because of conflicting feelings and lack of trust. Humiliation and Rejection are constant fears in those that deal with AvPD and can be a daily struggle. These feelings can lead to lack of self-confidence and self-esteem which are damaging to ones health. Similarly, daily life for those that deal with AvPD can be extremely stressful as experiences such as making friends, working, and talking to others causes immense pain both emotionally and physically.
Since AvPD is rare, others believe that those that deal with this are either shy or unfriendly; this is usually not the case. This personality disorder gives them the constant fear of being rejected or criticised and is most definitely not their fault. In most cases, those that deal with this have trouble leaving their home for fear of being judged based on physical appearance, personality, speech, and overall character.
What is the difference between Avoidant Personality Disorder and Social Anxiety?
These two equally important mental health issues are often confused, but they are different things. Many of the symptoms that those that deal with AvPD will experience will be linked with social anxiety, however, these symptoms will be at a much more severe level in comparison to somebody with social anxiety. In AvPD, the fear of being judged is so great that there have been cases where they feel uncomfortable in their own home.
With that in mind, it isnt unusual for those that deal with AvPD to also have social anxiety. The prime difference, as mentioned before, is that AvPD is more severe and the extent with feelings of isolation are carried beyond that of social anxiety.
Though this should be diagnosed by a doctor, the symptoms are listed below!
Symptoms of Avoidant Personality Disorder
-Showing caution in every situation or often wary over little things.
-Striving for perfection in appearances, actions, and interactions.
-Feeling Sensitivity when receiving criticism, often followed by feelings of self destruction and sadness.
-Taking Risks and changes seem impossible due to the fear of failure.
-Struggling to go outside or leave a home environment.
-Making friends can be a challenge and a daily struggle.
-The constant fear of looking bad or hurting others.
-Apologising constantly for small or unnecessary things.
-Having trouble eating or drinking outside in public or in front of others.
-Thinking in all-or-nothing terms and thinking of the worst-case-scenario.
-Feeling scared or nervous for no apparent reason, especially outside in public spaces.
-Feeling inferior and sensitive to others is a common occurrence.
-Rapid breathing, sweating and overall panic which can occur both inside and outside home.
-Feeling paranoid about how people perceive you despite knowing they wont.
-Rarely speaking when with others and being shy or panicky around strangers.
What are the causes of Avoidant Personality Disorder?
The primary cause of Avoidant Personality Disorder is unknown, however, scientists have agreed that it can stem from four different aspects of a persons life. Of course, the reason for AvPD is a combination of at least two or more of these factors.
Genetics- It can be hereditary, the chances of having AvPD increase if there is a direct genetic link, such as a parent or close relative. Those with parents who have AvPD are twice as likely to have symptoms than if they had parents without it.
Environment- Environmental causes of AvPD could be the experiences faced while growing up, some of which may include abuse, bullying, emotional neglect, or other traumatic events. There are most definitely other causes as well, for example, one could have experienced rejection or depression, which are both contributing factors to AvPD.
How can Avoidant Personality Disorder be treated?
The two most common treatments are:
Psychotherapy- By participating in group therapy or talk therapy, this will allow for the person to be surrounded by support. This is often troubling for those that deal with AvPD because it causes stress and panic to be around others despite it being a place to help them.
Medication- This is not very effective in those that deal with AvPD as there is no official treatment for it, however, they can be prescribed antidepressants and medication for anxiety, always ask a doctor or trained professional.
What can you do to help those with Avoidant Personality Disorder?
-Encourage them to seek treatment.
-Always offer support by being kind and patient.
-Offer to take them somewhere safe or distracting.
-Compliment them, make them smile.
-Be understanding and empathetic, this isnt their fault.
-Never force them into social situations.
-Dont take their actions personally, they never want to hurt you.
Quick Facts!
~AvPd can start at a young age but can also develop well into adulthood.
~Only 2% of the general population deal with AvPD, making it a rarer and lesser known personality disorder, let alone mental health issue.
~Women are more likely to develop AvPD than men in the United States.
~50% of those that deal with it do not get married while the other 30% are married and 20% divorced.
~Research suggests that AvPD can stem from traumatic experiences such as crime or abuse.
~Having an anxiety disorder at a young age can increase the chances of one developing AvPD in later years.
References:
K. (2013, October 21). What is Avoidant Personality Disorder? AVPD symptoms and therapy - Mental Health with Kati Morton. Retrieved November 12, 2017, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQY6HgES9m0
Interesting avoidant personality disorder facts based on scientific articles. (n.d.). Retrieved November 12, 2017, from https://www.barendspsychology.com/interesting-avoidant-personality-disorder-facts
Avoidant Personality Disorder Symptoms. (2017, August 24). Retrieved November 12, 2017, from https://psychcentral.com/disorders/avoidant-personality-disorder-symptoms/
Avoidant Personality Disorder. (2017, April 19). Retrieved November 12, 2017, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions/avoidant-personality-disorder
Kivi, R., & Leonard, M. (2017, April 19). Avoidant Personality Disorder. Retrieved November 12, 2017, from https://www.healthline.com/health/avoidant-personality-disorder
Grant, M. (2016, February 16). 7 Signs You Might Have Avoidant Personality Disorder. Retrieved November 12, 2017, from https://www.bustle.com/articles/142369-7-signs-you-might-have-avoidant-personality-disorder
Matsko, M. C., & W. (2017, November 11). How to Help Loved Ones with Avoidant Personality Disorder. Retrieved November 12, 2017, from https://www.wikihow.com/Help-Loved-Ones-with-Avoidant-Personality-Disorder
Helpful Resources:
Get Involved in the 7cups AvPD Community!
Now that weve looked at Avoidant Personality Disorder, please answer the following questions:
What does AvPD look like for you? Can you tell us a bit about your experience with it?
If you have Avoidant Personality Disorder, what support would you like to receive from others?
Have you found any coping mechanisms or techniques to overcome this?
Thank you all for reading!
-TinyTea
@TinyTea
What a coincidence, I also did my high school Psychology class final project on Avoidant Personality Disorder! One of my close family members has this disorder and is gradually recovering and doing better. Thanks for the information!
I can relate to all the points mentioned in this disorder. Can anyone help me out?
@rucha12
Hiya! I understand what you are going through, it can be quite tough! Here are some amazing resources I mentioned above that might help you 
I hope things go well for you! I can only recommend getting a doctor diagnosis, but you can always learn more about it. :D
Resources:
Get Involved in the 7cups AvPD Community!
Ta da! Good luck, you're going to be okay!
@TinyTea Thanks a lot for your concern and help ❤️
@TinyTea Thank you for those resources.
Ive never been diagnosed with anything because my mother thinks psychology is a scam and that everything wrong with me is physical.
but I do recall many occasions where I was so afraid of my own friends hating me and not being able to escape a situation, that I stopped hanging out with my friends (who were mostly fake friends anyway) so that just continued the cycle of my distrust in people.
hi, I can not participate in a group becoz I dnt have good looks
@Hiyaback I have thought the same thing. After I have been in therapy a while I know that assertiveness is the answer, it's how you say it, not what you look like. Assertiveness: get your needs met without harming the other person. Good luck!
@courageousYard2833
Thank you
@TinyTea Im so happy!! I thought AvPD would never get recognized. (Im deeply sorry) But the real reason Im happy is... Finally an explanation to why I feel uncomfortable at home. 😭 (btw I suffer from the illness)
@Otaku10000000000 Awww your post made me smile, I'm glad you liked it :D I want you to know that you are incredibly brave and strong, I also would like AvPD to be recognized! I think it's very important ;) Thank you for posting!
@TinyTea I'm very glad to see your post! I have been struggling with these issues most of my life. I didn't think anyone knew about avpd! Mine is partly a result of neurotic shame. I'm in treatment, and you can be sure I will be keeping up with all of you, I believe we can recover, most of all we need to love ourselves and believe in ourselves!
thank you for this article. I took the quiz and seems i do have some of these traits. i share some similar problems others in this thread. just being free enough to allow myself to be me seems an overwhelming task sometimes. i care about others yet feel i do not measure up. i stay away to save myself pain. currently i have not been able to leave my house. .. i'm worried about the upcoming holidays and seeing family. i will go, i cannot let them day. it will be uneasy. i love them and it makes my heart hurt to be this way.
@themainjane I can totally relate to you about seeing your family, I will have the same problem. I asked my therapist about it and I didn't really get an answer. Also I have a 7 year old nephew and I don't know how to talk to him because I don't want him to know I was in psych hospital. But I know that not showing up is worse than being uncomfortable.
@themainjane Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts! From what you describe, you may be experiencing some symptoms, I can only recommend seeing a trained professional for that 
I understand what you are going through is difficult, you are incredibly brave and strong for going through this and sharing your experiences. You truly aren't alone, we are here to love and support you I believe in you and that you're going to be okay, I know you can make it through this!
@TinyTea
your welcome in regards to the reading of it.
as far as brave - no. but i will soak up all the love and support i can find in hopes of being ok and turning this life into something better for myself and in wildest of dreams, even for others. in other words, i want to be more than "okay" it's relative, no? i think it is. will i "survive"? - yes. will i be "okay"? - that is probably up to how much effort i put in to changing things.
I've only briefly heard of this disorder before, and it really does sound like a more severe form of social anxiety. I do have a question. When you mention that trying to make friends, etc., can cause immense physical pain, what exactly do you mean by that? And how would it come about?
Thanks~
@mimameid
Hiya! Thanks so much for reading! :D That's a good question, I believe I was referring to the stress that comes with symptoms, such as the pains in the stomach or chest, heavy breathing, nausea, and overall dicomfort. These are all side effects, although they can come as a result of anxiety or depression, which can stem from AvPD.
It's all connected!
Thanks again! c:
Hi, thanks for your article.
I was wondering, do you get different degrees/intensities of this disorder?
Can avoidant types put in masks to try blend into social situations, although they wish they didn't have to be there, and almost pretend to be more social then what they really are, but leave feeling exhausted, or is that more an introvert characteristic, or ciuld the introvert share some characteristics with the avoidant type?
Can numbing out emotion or not allowing yourself to feel things be part of avoidant personality or just a coping mechanism learnt, or are they sort of interlinked.
I sort of have a mix of the 3 mentioned above, but I alsmost am like a "chameleon" and blend as best as I can, it's exhausting, and no one really gets to know the real "inside" you because you can't trust people with you
Xx
@Avaray
Absolutely! AvPD comes in many different forms and it is different for everybody! It all depends on the person and it really can come in different severities. Some factors that can contribute are the environment and genetics as mentioned before, but of course, it differs, everyone is unique, and things can change! The best way to make sure would be to see a trained professional c: From what you described, it does sound like you have some of the symptoms of AvPD, if you are worried definitely ask a doctor, they know best :D I know what you are going through can be exhausting and mentally draining, you're doing so great and things will get better, I'm sure of it
@TinyTea
Thanks Tiny xx
I have not been diagnosed with this yet, because neither of my parents know about this. I do believe I have social anxiety and also Avoid Personality Disorder because often it mortifies me to even make eye contact and say hi or what
@RecoveringFlower
Thank you for reading and sharing your experiences! I understand what you are going through, it definitely sounds tough. You are strong for going through this, I hope things get better for you. I would definitely look into a trained professional for that, you are absolutely right. Please don't worry too much, you're going to be okay!
I've never been diagnosed because I'm afraid of seeing a psychiatrist, but I'm pretty sure I have this. I've structured my life around avoiding just about everything and everyone that might make me anxious or feel emotional pain, which includes most people and a lot of things. I've gotten anxious and upset for days over kinds of rejection that in reality were pretty small, although most very small rejections from people I don't know usually just cause minor anxiety and preoccupation with thinking about that event for a max of maybe 30 minutes afterward. Granted, I have little experience with rejection, judgement, etc since I tend to just avoid those things as best I can, so I don't know what would happen if I were to put myself in some of the situations I'm avoiding. I expect it would be bad, but I can't be sure.
I limit contact with anybody I live with to a minimum and I tend not to talk with them if I can help it, even if they're talking to me. The exception to that being if I think I'll make them mad for not talking, in which case I do the bare minimum amount of talking that I think is necessary to avoid that. My family - everybody, really - knows very little about me because I never tell them anything. There are sometimes exceptions where I can talk with people a lot, although this mostly happens online and very rarely in person, and only when I'm sure they won't judge or reject me.
Despite avoiding people, I really want to get close to people. It's just that I can't trust them enough to not reject or judge me in some way, so I never let myself get close to them. This has led to me pushing away all friends I used to have IRL when I could do so without invoking some anger or rejection from them. When talking to people I want to get close to, I sometimes lie to them about myself so I don't have to tell them about aspects of myself that I think would be shameful or likely to cause them to judge me, and I tend to think most things about myself are that way. This is the main thing that leads to me being unable to connect, because you need to reveal things about yourself - make yourself a little vulnerable - to connect to people. Without that, all you have is smalltalk, which is hollow and unfulfilling. It's made worse by the very act of avoiding things, too. The longer I avoid things, the more I regret and feel ashamed for avoiding those things, the less I want to get close to people lest they discover these things I'm ashamed of and reject me for it.
I spend most of my time not just inside my house but inside my own room with my door closed. I've gotten a bit better about going out sometimes, such as going for walks, but I tend to do that only if I don't think anybody I know will notice me doing it, since they expect me not to and I've got a weird thing with not wanting people to see me change my behavior in any way from what they expect me to do. I think it has to do with not wanting to be noticed, or at least not being noticed in an "intense" way, because being noticed might mean being judged and rejected.
I realize after writing a lot of this that it doesn't matter if I really have this disorder, because how it's described is so similar to the way I am that reading about it helps me regardless. So thanks for posting this, @TinyTea. :)
Sorry for the long-ish post. I've never talked to anybody in any way about these things.
@ComfyCloud
Thanks for the post, it is something I go through as well.
I keep to myself most of the time, and I pretend like nothing affects me so that people see me as a cold person, or an independant person, whereas in real I am just trying to deter people from being bad to me. It's tough. But it is more easy to express online especially thanks to the anonymity.
That used to just be called: being a loner, but the mental health system just had to put a name to it so they even make a loner selfconscience enough to contribute money to the system, then get hooked on pyshcotropics and support that system also...for life. Thus Creating Stigma, and chaos in one more sector previously missed