A Communication Space for Jaeteuk and bestVase7265 only. (Please do not reply or respond, thank you)

Focus for a bit on caring for yourself. It sounds like it is all pretty overwhelming at the moment. Are you eating a healthy diet? Are you getting outside for a few minutes each day, maybe to walk. You will settle into the news about your grandmother. It just takes a bit of time.

Latest update on my Grandma. Heard my mum read a message last night coming from her sisters. Says Grandma seems to be reacting well to the medication, and after running a few more tests, she can be discharged from the hospital and transferred back to her seniors home.

*sigh of relief*

Last Friday, I almost lost it with a colleague near the end of her shift.. we later on continued our conversation through text messages.. and long story short, she's telling me that I seem to be incompetent in my work because I'm a Casual and not a full-time permanent staff like she is. Casual meaning I'm not working Mon-Fri, all throughout the year, and only working when others' are on vacation. Then, she goes one saying that I'm not happy in the job, that I don't communicate well with others (she knows I have some conflicts with the current temporary staff the joined our team).. Of course, as they are of the same ethnicity, she tells me that the person is actually very nice and can get along well with people, if I'd just communicate with her more. Then, complains about me leaving things for the morning staff to do, or that I've missed certain tasks.. There were 3 tasks that I was reminded of from the OR Charge desk clerk (she told me there had been complaints, but not saying from whom), early in the week, and those were the tasks I made sure I completed every night before I left.. then, this colleague comes and tells me, that the early morning person had been saying that she needed to do those tasks in the morning because it was done the night before.. I was thinking "Lies.. all lies. Those 3 tasks are the last things I made sure I did every night, so I'm sure it was done." So, it seems to me, that this early morning person is just trying to make some sort of complaint about me, to get me in trouble. I tried to explain to this colleague that I didn't communicate with anybody the past week because of some issues at home, then, she's like, we all have sh*t going on at home, and still come to work and communicate with each other. I told her, it's not normal things going on at home, it's someone in my home country who is suddenly very ill. Then, by the sounds of her reply, she still thinks that it's not an excuse for me to not communicate with them, and if I was really affected, that I should've just told the Manager that I needed some time off.

I actually did think about taking time off, but knowing that there isn't anyone to cover my absence, I chose not to. Also, my parents wouldn't agree and probably nag me to go to work anyways. So, I just went to work, despite my verge of breakdowns, not wanting to communicate with anybody and being mentally logged out. 

If this colleague keeps bringing up that because I'm a Casual, so I work unproductively and inefficiently because of my job status compared to a permanent full-time staff, I'm going to have to report her to my Union. Isn't this a form of discrimination? She compared me to the current staff that usually works the shift I cover, and say that I do less of what she does, and has no time management in mind.. What angers me most is how she said, "Being a Casual you're not going to have the efficiency of a full timer, it's tough filling in for M." It makes me feel she's thinking less of me, my abilities, just because my job status is different than others. Who does she thinks she is, to say that about me? For someone who only started this job early this year, compared to me working this job for 3 years now. Just because she's been working in a Hospital (a different department) for nearly 10 years, doesn't mean she knows any better in the current position that she just started this year. What gives her the right to talk to me like that? Like I'm not a hard-worker and I'm doing less than expected. Then, go on and say things like, "No one is taking jabs at you".. but then, go on to complain about my work ethics. Its people like her that make me dislike my working environment. And having multiple mothers at work that nags me more than my own mother.

So, the latest news from my Aunts about grandma.. Apparently she's been in-and-out of the hospital. She was first discharged and returned to her senior's home.. but because the senior's home does not have oxygen tanks for her to use, when she seemed to have difficult breathing, they returned her to the hospital. According to her doctor though, there isn't anything else wrong with her, so, she doesn't really need to "stay" in the hospital for treatment. But now, considering how she sometimes have difficulty catching her breath, this back-and-forth, to-and-from the senior's home-to-hospital is not very ideal too.. So, we'll have to wait and see what the doctors at the hospital say..

I also heard my mum talk on the phone with my Aunt yesterday, or was that the day before.. Anyways, I also asked her about it.. She says she would still like to go back and visit before she goes on her Cruise trip in mid-September.. so, she's considering to go back like in mid-August.. she says she's afraid that her mum will suddenly pass while they are on the cruise. She doesn't want to have regrets or miss the chance to see her mum while she's still healthy. She explained to her sister that her heart feels heavy and uneasy, if she doesn't go see her mum now. The Aunt who live in the States says she's not returning this year. At first, my mum was worried about what her sisters would think about it.. like, if my mum were to return and my Aunt in the States doesn't.. she feels that her sisters in HK will think bad things about them.. as my mum and Aunt are the only siblings that live overseas from HK. So, I told my mum.. just following your own heart, do what you feel is right. If Aunt doesn't want to return to visit her mum because they went back to see her last November together, and she doesn't feel the need because grandma is not in any urgent condition, then, that's her thoughts.

My Aunt in the States, amongst all my mum's siblings, she's the one most educated, she had even went to England for her University Studies (where she met her husband). The other siblings, my mum included, some didn't even finish high school. So, with my Aunt, she has her own principles and disciplines and acts accordingly. 

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My brother's University friend will be coming over to our place tonight for a sleepover. He came from Washington, DC. My brother hired him to work remotely earlier this year, and he has been here for the past week and held meetings along with other colleagues from England. He will be coming over to our place later this afternoon, my brother plans to take him out and walk about the neighbourhood, we have a street that is like a brewery district, so, my brother will take him to different breweries. At first, we were planning to have a BBQ at our place, but last night, my brother realized that this friend's appetite has grown, so, he's afraid that we'll have to buy too much food to feed him.. So, my mum suggested that my brother should just take him out for dinner.. have sushi or something. He's only staying for one night, then, my brother will drive him out to the Airport for a 1pm flight to the East Coast.. where he's meeting his sister in Toronto as they visit a cousin.

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So, I have 4 weeks of shifts starting tomorrow. This week, I'll be working the morning shift, starting at 0730, I was supposed to do a 1200 shift on Friday, but the past Friday, a colleague asked if I could work her 0630 shift, as she has a doctor's appointment booked in the morning. I agreed, since I'm already working a 0730 shift Mon - Thurs, starting an hour earlier doesn't make much difference. Then, the week after, I'll be working a 1200 shift, Mon - Wed, then, a 0730 shift, Thurs/Fri. Then, back to the 1200 shift the next two weeks. Then, I'm off the week of Aug. 19th (I had a choice whether or not to work this week, I declined it, because it's my dad's birthday on the Friday, and since the shifts were given as a block, I declined the whole week). Then, I'm back to the 0730 shift from Aug. 26th to Sept. 6th. Then, off the next week, then, work the next two weeks.

Honestly though, I'm not looking forward to this week's work.. Because it means that I'll be stuck with the colleague I don't get along with all morning.. as she's starts her shift at 0630. Dreading going to work tomorrow, I haven't slept well last night.. I tried going to bed earlier (not watch my dramas too late), ended up sleeping around 2-3am.. then, woke up at 5am, 7am, and 9am.. I finally got out of bed around 10am and went to take a shower.. but, my eyes now.. it's only noon, and I already feel like going back to bed. I'm so sleepy.

Sorry to hear about your grandmother's continued struggle. I think that you gave very good advice to your mom though - do what your heart tells you. It isn't important who goes when or whether someone thinks badly of you. What is most important is your own emotions. Your mom will spend the entire cruise otherwise worrying about her mom. She deserves to have inner peace on the issue.

It sounds like a good plan with your brother's friend as well. Unless the friend is tired, it is nice to see a new city and try different kinds of food.

I know that it feels like a lot of work shifts, but you will get through them. Ignore any troublesome colleagues as much as possible and focus on doing the job the best that you can. Get sleep when you can too. Your father's birthday is coming up so that will be good to look forward to. Consider that a goal.

So, the friend did buy the goodies.. I didn't see them on the kitchen counter until later last night, after they came back from dinner. 

So, I smiled and nodded as a greeting to that colleague this morning.. but, she stayed out of the area that I was working in.. so, she's avoiding me as much as I would with her.. So, it's all good.. I think she only spoke to me like three times today.. asking about some things I was doing.. Which is fine with me.. So, it's not exactly just me that's avoiding her when I worked a different shift.. Now that we're both mornings, she avoids me too. It's all good. But, she wouldn't even communicate with me when she goes for break.. so, at times, I don't even know if she's just doing tasks outside of the area I'm in.. or if she disappeared for break. Whatever.. but you can easily tell how she treats me differently too.. when the other colleague started at noon, she was all cheery in greeting her and started a conversation with her.. That colleague greeted us both at the same time, and I barely was able to reply her and that colleague was already talking over me.. Oh well, I'm used to it.. It's just unpleasant to work with someone like that.. She probably thinks that same about me.

I hate it when that happens with Cups. Sometimes if you can copy it really fast because your response looks like it isn't loading then you can save yourself from retyping. But I only can do that once in while.

Sometimes you can celebrate things when people get back home. It can be nice to have more than one celebration.

Glad you got the Trader Joe's snacks. What are your favorites? There are definitely some good ones. I had some waffle cookies last week that were great.

You are learning to do your best around your rough colleague. The best thing to do is not to focus on her and ignore her. You are figuring out how to do that. Go you!

All of that stuff from Trader Joes sounds awesome. I am going to have to go again myself soon. 

Sometimes fate decides for you whether you are going to travel to see someone or not. At least your mom knows that traveling to HK before her cruise really isn't possible. That will make her feel less concerned on the cruise itself. She is doing her best.

Yes, I can imagine that the colleague is very awkward to be around. It does sound like you are ending up with more work because she is avoiding you. Maybe a better way to think about it though is that by doing her work you end up not seeing her as often so you can relax a little more. I like the "I see the work and I do it" type. You feel more accomplished and she has less to accuse you of when she sees later how much you have done that she should have done. Her guilt can keep her from causing you more trouble.

You are going to make it through the shifts. 

They do still have the olive oil popcorn I think. I haven't had any recently.

It is great that you made a stronger effort to get along with your colleague. Showing that little bit of kindness will help her see you more as you really are. If she somehow misses that, then she is pretty blind. 

So Grandma is in and out of the hospital again.. her saturation levels are low. My parents made the sudden decision to return to HK asap. They are going to leave on Monday morning and will stay for a month. They confirmed everything today, flights, and they will call the hotel tomorrow to see if they offer and long-stay promotions.

It is tough to be there and it is tough to deal with the guilt when you cannot. Your parents will do a good job being there in your stead. You are right that the costs are high both financially and with your job. Perhaps you can make your parents promise to set up some Zoom or Google Meet calls with your grandmother. 

Sending lots of peace.