Penpal?
I wouldn't mind chatting with someone other than the listeners. If anyone is interested please connect with me here. Send a message and what not. Not for anyone specific.
@ShamrockViking
hey Viking, ShamrockVikingto be precise, what a cool name you from Ireland by any chance?
Wanted to say hi, so hi. I can’t guarantee to long term pen pal but at very least I can acknowledge you , tell you that you really do matter. Sound to me a really great husband and I hear you.
Seen you around in the group support chats also , great to have you with us.
Hope you are ok and goodbye for now.
Hey there. Thank you for the response. I appreciate you. Looking forward to talking with you more. I'm not from Ireland. American here. I'm doing ok. Just been busy with work lately. Would love to know more about you.
And thank you for the compliment. Sometimes I don't feel like a good husband. Right now especially. Talk soon.
@ShamrockViking
hey great to hear from you!
silent treatment is seriously difficult, I can only wonder how this is effecting the kids.
By the sounds of it there is some reason (I assume the relationship) that’s keeping you there as you long for affection?
work, kids, home life, relationship and god forbid time for yourself, we can only do our best.
How’s work going? If comfortable to share what do you do?
Bet those 3 kids light up your day when all seems so gloomy.
Well yes. The silent treatment is horrible. Wouldn't wish it on anyone. But I have a different strategy that I'm trying with my wife. Time will tell. I'm tired of being ignored. And yes. Affection would be nice. Haven't gotten any of that for a long time now with my wife. Which can make a person go a bit crazy if they are a physical touch love language person. And it is the relationship that is keeping me here. Because I have hope. I have to change myself though. No one else can do it for me. That's the start.
And I actually was out of work for about a month and a half. Got laid off due to season. But now I have 2 jobs. I work in retail stocking in the morning and I'm a manager at a fencing yard during the day. Very busy schedule. Even just my own schedule is. Today I'm off at both jobs. So at least I get a day to rest.
And yes the kids do help. They are my step kids. My oldest doesn't acknowledge me at all. Doesn't speak to me or even respond when I talk to him. He's a teenager and has seen his mom and I go through a lot. I've done my share of damage in this relationship with addiction and mental health stuff. But one day at a time. The two middle ones love me and I get to interact with them quite a bit when I'm home. So it helps with the loneliness. My daughter who is 9, she is my world. I got to hang out with just her and I last night and we tickled and wrestled and played games. It really filled my heart up. She is a lover for sure.
With all that said though. I do miss adult affection. My wife is still very distant and doesn't want any kind of intimacy with me at all. Barely speaks to me unless she needs something. It is extremely hard. But, my strategy is to love on her and the kids without any expectations of reciprocation. And to interact with them (especially my oldest and my wife) anf to br kind and serve them as a husband and father. Even if I'm not recognized for anything I do. That's what I'm called to do as a man. And will continue to do. Not the path most people would take. But it's my path.
What about you?
@ShamrockViking
thats a very commendable attitude and behaviour you have to what’s less than anything but extremely challenging circumstances. Being the role model to young influential humans and yet also attempting a hopefully prosperous relationship against a difficult backdrop. You are stronger than you know.
me. Well I will keep it short. Had a ok, then turbulent, then sadistic violent childhood but used it as a driving factor to not be the same. Kinda achieved that , great partner, good job, funded my own flying lessons by 21. Partner didn’t want me away so stuck with my occupation and brought house etc. was with him 10 year until I thought and we planned to have children. Great relationship until then. Emergency C-section and kid born still. Extensive brain damage that is hard to even think possible. Months in hospital and dreams of building the tree houses , going on days out and see him accomplish anything completely wiped. A new future of tube feeding, painful life for him and one he can’t communicate let alone comprehend became reality. The fact that suctioning his saliva was not necessary was something to be great full for.
the relationship between me and the dad broke down putting it nicely and ,,, well lot’s happened. For a stupid reason we ended up having another child in lockdown. Tried the relationship again until I was yet again thrown out.
Thankfully though I’ve an amazing young son who is healthy and helps me get through things unbeknown to him. The smile, the laughter the comical things said .
So yeah that’s put very simply.
