OCD & Related Behaviors Community

idk just an unorganized vent

by ivoryDog4942

2 days ago

...See more a couple years ago I had a therapist who told me I have very mild ocd and supposedly but neurologist said that and i just forget. fast forward to now and i don’t beleive it. it gets worse whenever it falls out of my subconscious and into my stream of consciousness. i thought knowing my thoughts and writing them all down would help. now i have a page of all the reasons i hate myself and think im a bad person. my therapist only heard about my mild symptoms. if i could let myself keep a therapist maybe i could explain myself but the second id try talking things out, id go speechless and helpless. if i could share my thoughts, they’d only hurt worse. hearing the word ocd even in my head makes my intrusive thoughts worse. and even then i tell myself im faking or lying to myself. i keep trying to fix my self esteem but i need to stop hearing these thoughts first. but the idea of getting affirmed on if i do have ocd or not ( which i think i was told i have it unless that was another delusion, its complicated 😭) haunts me because it reminds me of my thoughts. i need to let it go because if i did telll someone out loud, they’d think i was crazy or tell me to stop listening to my bad thoughts. but now i feel like letters are unsafe and it’s just bad and okay and bad again on and on. i have things that trigger thinking about my intrusive thoughts (well listening to them) and the loop never ends. the thoughts keep forming into bigger monsters in my head and im not someone to share my thoughts unless im trauma dumping or over sharing so i never feel like i can tell anyone. then i also tell myself i dont have ocd because so many others have it and i just always tell myself im lying to myself. i used to repeatedly insult myself in my head. anyways sorry for hopping from thoughts to thought- i guess this was a rant. and sorry for the poor grammar, i can do better but a few months ago i kind of just gave up on writing thanks for reading my vent/ rant idk what to call it

OCD spouses

by MariaRoma

2 days ago

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Self-Care

by LittleBirdie30

October 8th

...See more Trigger Warning: Mention of Suicide for Educational Purposes Hello friends! It's self-care month and I wanted to talk about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and how those who struggle with OCD can practice self-care! I don't think OCD is talked about enough. I also don't think that people ever really understand the depths of OCD. People will say "I'm so OCD, I need my kitchen clean all the time" or something along those lines. After getting an official diagnosis, I could see that my OCD was very prevalent even when I was really young. I don't want to go into too much personal detail, but there is such a big range of ways that OCD can manifest. I am going to share some below for education! All information is from NOCD [https://www.treatmyocd.com/education/different-types-of-ocd?psafe_param=1&utm_adgroup=&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=NOCD_PM_US&gclid=Cj0KCQjwjNS3BhChARIsAOxBM6ovs-8n9aRZUXjhqs7osx1BgikUklb12WtZbP8hDacslosy3ldj0cgaAlKQEALw_wcB]: "1. Relationship OCD: Relationship OCD leaves people completely unable to tolerate the uncertainty of intimate relationships, giving them obsessions about the "rightness" of their own relationship and the countless other possibilities that daily life brings. 2. Contamination OCD: Contamination OCD is probably the most stereotyped form of OCD. People with this subtype are afraid of getting sick, or infecting someone they care about, after coming in contact with serious bacteria. 3. Hit and Run OCD: This is a less frequently discussed subtype of OCD characterized by a fear of running someone over while driving. People with this subtype often find that their obsessions make them too afraid to drive, or that they must trace their route just to make sure a bump was not actually a person. 4. Harm OCD: Harm OCD causes people to be deeply disturbed by the violent thoughts that just about everyone has experienced. While most people are able to shrug off these thoughts, those with harm OCD can become completely overwhelmed by them. 5. Suicidal OCD: Suicidal OCD is an OCD subtype that includes unwanted thoughts, images, or impulses related to killing oneself. It is closely associated with harm OCD and is also known as harm OCD with suicidal obsessions. Note about Suicidal OCD: Suicidal thoughts are always to be taken seriously. However, people with suicidal OCD are not more likely to commit suicide than people with other OCD subtypes. In fact, suicidal OCD is driven by the need to protect oneself from potential self-harm. While you might think that thoughts about suicide indicate wanting to act on that thought, the opposite is true. The real desire is to protect yourself from the risk of harm." OCD can be debilitating! While these are not a complete list of all the subtypes of OCD, they are very real and just a few of the subtypes that people can experience. I have experienced every single one of these and while it sounds like not a big deal to those who don't understand, these thoughts can take up every waking thought in your mind and make it hard to function in everyday life. Next, I want to discuss some self-care tips that can be practiced when struggling with OCD. 1. Surround yourself with your support system. It's essential that you have support during these tough times. When I was first diagnosed with OCD in 2015, it was scary to share those thoughts with those I loved because I sounded "crazy." I promise you that you are the farthest thing from being crazy! Sharing these thoughts felt like a weight off my shoulders. No one that truly cares about you is going to think you're crazy and you deserve to get help! 2. It's okay to seek professional help. More so, I want you to get professional help because there's no shame in it! It can take time to find the right therapist and/or psychiatrist for you, but you'll feel amazing when you do! I've seen my current psychiatrist since 2015 and he's like my best friend! 😂 I bring Starbucks and we just chat. It doesn't have to be a "sterile" or impersonal environment. You are always in control and keep searching until you find someone that clicks with you! 3. Medication is okay too! Medication has saved my life. There's such a stigma regarding medication and I really don't understand why. We don't shame diabetics for needing insulin, do we? No! Our brain is an organ just like our pancreas, so we need to take care of it too! Medication can also take time to adjust to our bodies to make us start to feel better and this can take between 6-8 weeks, so be patient and don't get frustrated! It always works out in the end. Remember, communication is important and share everything with your doctor so you both can adjust accordingly! 4. Do things you enjoy! I literally just got back from a pedicure and it's so important to do things you enjoy! It doesn't have to be expensive. You can go get a coffee, read a good book, dance to some fun music, go for a drive, or watch a movie. There are so many ways to enjoy yourself and practice self-care. 5. Remember, thoughts are just thoughts. The thoughts you are having don't define you. I know people like to fight their thoughts, but that only makes them more persistent. Try to create peace with them and they will lessen. The less value you give them, the less of an impact they will have on you. They aren't who you are as a person and they never will be! Always remember that. These are just a few of the things I wish I knew when I was first diagnosed. Things always, always, always get better and never forget that! Lastly, I want to talk a little bit about suicidal thoughts. I know that suicidal thoughts are a little taboo, but I'd like to lessen the stigma by talking about it. Suicidality is definitely a spectrum. Obviously, all suicidal thoughts are to be taken seriously and you should always talk to a trusted adult or someone in your support system if/when you are having these thoughts. You don't have to go through those thoughts alone. But, there are both passive and active suicidal thoughts. Passive thoughts are ones where you don't have a plan, but active thoughts are ones where someone may be making a plan to harm themselves. We always want to take everything seriously and explore any and all thoughts. But passive thoughts are a lot more common than people will share. I think many people experience these thoughts but are afraid to share due to the possible reaction they could get. The history of psychiatric treatment has led to a tough stigma we are battling today, but it's important that we share what we are going through. I know that I personally struggle with the suicidal OCD subtype and I know I'm really struggling when this flares up. When it does, I love to share these thoughts with my mom, psychiatrist, and therapist to let them know how I'm feeling because it makes me feel less alone. I feel safer when I am not alone and as long as you communicate everything you are feeling, then you are doing the right thing and your healthcare providers will work with you to determine the best course of action. If you've made it this far, thank you for reading! If you are having any thoughts of harming yourself, please call 988 [https://988lifeline.org/] or head to your local emergency room. You can also text the Crisis Text Line [https://www.crisistextline.org/] at 741-741. If you are not in America, click here [https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/] for a list of international suicide hotlines. Anyone is always welcome to message me if you need to chat about anything. Always remember you are loved and things will get better! 🩵

Real Event OCD and Intrusive thoughts

by Feneis

September 15th

OCD on attachment to people

by Lillyskb

June 28th

OCD

by Cherry100

June 1st

Is it easy to ignore compulsions?

by b00kishbard

May 29th

HOCD or Denial?

by bangtuyet

May 8th

I think I may have ROCD

by poppi422

April 7th

dealing with coincidences

by lightTalker6898

March 4th

Vent: Stuck in a Loop

by calypteanna

February 29th

Experience(or lack thereof) with Relationship OCD, need pointers

by NegativeMagnet

February 13th

...See more I was recently diagnosed with ASD and OCD, and I've never had a relationship before. My current partner is a longtime friend of mine(nearly a decade), and we've really hit it off. We're a lot alike, we can truly be ourselves without feeling the need to wear masks, and they're a joy to be around. My dilemma is an awkward combination... I'm overstimulated very easily by socializing - a few hours spent with them is exhaustive even though I have a great time. We message each other every day, and while I love hearing about their day and sharing mine with them, catching up on several lengthy messages is sometimes too much. I'm open and honest with these feelings, and they're incredibly patient and understanding with my disposition... but I feel incredibly guilty for having to cancel or space our hangouts apart by days so that I can "recharge." This leads into my OCD, in which twists this my brain to mean that I do not love my partner, that I dread spending time with them, and that I am stringing them along - all while using my lack of relationship experience and neurodivergence as ammunition. It's diabolical, and as much as I protest it and acknowledge it's the illness, I often cave and spiral at the mercy of my compulsions... incessantly Googling unhelpful, nebulous questions like "What does love feel like?", "How do I know if I'm in love?", "Do I really love my partner?", etc. As of writing this, I'm on the track to receiving the help I need, but it could take time. I feel this chipping away at me day by day, poisoning this newfound happiness. I shouldn't be feeling this way, I should be happy with my partner, spending time with them, living and being free. I want to be clear that I do not wish for reassurance, as from little I know about OCD, it isn't constructive and only feeds the illness. What I'd like, if anything, are any pointers or exercises for how to reroute/shut down these thoughts or avoid giving into the compulsions. Thank you so much for reading.

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