Hoarder contradiction

Due to my depression, my whole life I have donated or thre away all the good stuff. Gave away all my collections, threw away valuable pieces in anger....all my books, my butterflies, my coins, my stamps, my knives, my vynils etc. , everything of value and worth I did not sell but gave away or threw away, not a single dime...

Yet in my latest stages of depression since 2007 I find myself another type of "hoarder", that they politely call hoarder but just hoarding trash to the point that the ved in covered in food trash the room is covered in mountains of trash, nothing gets done, noone can come in...till today I manage at some points to mobilise and spend time throwing out trash and cleaning up...not much longer...my mind, not my body fails me...

I saw on TV a nice lady helping her neighbour who was eldrrly and very thin and though she looked presentable she avoided going out often and never received anyone in her home...she was a major depressive garbage hoarder like me, on her bed, everywhere, so the neighbour lady offered to clean the house for her...it was soooo sad, unwashed clothes, near good makep, good foodtogether with trash, total chaos and sad, very tearful sad state of things...I felt for that petite elderly woman and the neighbour who could identify and hep her out and be supportive and adoptive...she saved her...