Opening up about my experiences with COCD
Hello I'm Vivienne and I suffer from symptoms of COCD.
I shared this meassage in the hopes of reaching out to people like me and just to be raw and open. Hope this message finds you well.
For me it's real torture.
Here are examples of how it's like for me suffering from Contamination OCD:
Sometimes I imagine that their is nast everywhere and the discomfort makes me feel like I should just dissapear into thin air.;to the point i can't even breath because my brain tells me that there's something in the air. This kind of situation is usually hard to come out of. Really frustrating
Other times I don't even want to eat food because I believe the person who cooked handled it unhygienically
Usually I wash my hands execessivelly
Other times i execessivelly clean things like dishes and food stuff ; other times it's so overwhelming I find myself cleaning the whole house and re washing my clothes
All these thoughts are usually triggered somehow by something, from small discomforting things to awfully disgusting things. Usually from smell or sight.
Safe to say this behaviors cause a hussle between me and the people I live with. Some people think that I have hatred toward them because they assume that I think they're dirty based off of my actions. I find it uncomfortable to live with people because it causes me a lot of discomfort at times . I can get so overwhelmed I feel like i just want to run away from myself.
COCD is toture and I just feel like I cant live with myself. Is there anyone who can relate?
Thanks if you read this far. ð¥°ð¥°
@cuddlyMango4828
Hey thanks for opening up and sharing your experience with us. It takes a lot of courage to talk about this. I'm so proud of you.
Sending hugs.
I am not diognoise with it... Idk... Its just... I lose it sometimes, have a mindset and thoughts and characteristics so different that it creeps me out...
Thankyou so much we are in this together
@cuddlyMango4828
Hello Vivienne, thank you for being so open and vulnerable in sharing your experience. It takes a lot of courage to reach out about something so personal and painful. I hear you—dealing with COCD (Cognitive OCD) is incredibly challenging. The distress, the endless cycle of intrusive thoughts, and the mental strain it causes can feel like a form of torture, as you said.
It’s clear you’re looking for connection and understanding, and I want you to know you’re not alone in this. Many people with COCD or similar experiences feel like they're trapped in their own minds, questioning everything and battling constant anxiety and doubt. What you're going through is valid, and it makes sense that you're reaching out for support. You're allowed to be raw and honest about how difficult it is—it's a heavy burden, and sharing it can be a first step in lightening the load.
In moments like this, when you're feeling overwhelmed, it might help to take a deep breath and remind yourself that your thoughts, however distressing, are not who you are. They are symptoms of the condition, and with the right support and tools, they can lose their grip on you over time.
If you haven’t yet, reaching out to others who understand OCD firsthand can offer comfort. Sometimes, knowing that others are walking a similar path can make it feel less isolating. You might also want to consider professional support, such as therapy, where CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) are proven to help many people reclaim their lives from the grasp of OCD.
Again, thank you for sharing your message. I’m sending you strength, and I hope you find moments of peace along the way. You are worthy of healing and joy.
Thankyou so much, your words of encouragement will definitely give me strength through hard times
