OCD and procrastination

I’m way too scared that if i put actual effort and if in the end its actually bad, it’ll reflect that i have failed as an artist. It’s like i know what to exactly to do and how to be better, but i cant even bring myself to hold a pencil or my laptop without being physically in pain or mentally screaming. i have so much shame and guilt inside of me that i can’t talk myself out of it anymore. I personally struggle with depression as well. If you have tips on how you face procrastination please do share, i’ve done everything i could however it has not work for long, I feel like i’m alone on this