I think I may have species dysphoria/dysmorphia
I guess the best discription for how I feel would be Species Dysphoria. I feel like I was born in the wrong species body. I dispise being human. I was never meant to be a person and I don't know how to deal with it anymore. I identify as canine, I've always identified as canine ever since I was 3-4,at least as long as I've been forming memories. I hate being what I am. I lack animality and it's so frustrating, people expect me to behave just like every other normal human and ridicule me when I fail to do so.
An analogy of how it feels to be me is I feel like if you took a regular everyday motorcycle rider and put them in the cockpit of a Boing 747 and just expect them to take off and fly a round world trip. I'm just a canine and everyone expects me to behave like a weird, fat, hairless, flat faced monkey. I'm trying my best to be like everyone else but I'm not and I can't understand why that isn't ok too.
I wish my body was a little more canine and a little less primate. I feel so out of place and it feels like no one gives a heck that I feel this way. What if I snap one day and go berserk or what if it develops into Clynical Lycanthropy and I bite someone's throat out? Will people care then? Probably not. And the worst thing is I have absolutely no income, I should probably be seeing a trained professional for this among other worrying things but I can't even afford a Netflix subscription let alone go and see an expensive psychologist so I'm just stuck in this perfetual loop of hating myself and being scared of losing my mind