Songs - With love,
@ALeXaNdEr0712
Oof okay I hope I tagged you right (:
It’s difficult catching you online, thought would leave a message for you here.
Some songs for you,
(you can share some too)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mOV4PKZgqOo
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4hzKRNtT2h8
Cheering for you, Miss ya
With love
Flame
@ferventflame
Flame! it's been so long, how u doing? I've been kinda worried about u I hope ur exams are going well dunno if they are over now tho
Do u like trampled by turtles? it's a great band, that song is real good, all their songs are actually real good and I like them lots
I liked that song Evergreen nice lyrics it says lots of good stuff and its real calm, thanks for sharing
here are some good songs:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02-XCVvSLF4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFIH3t9jtJk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgJI7fuJ1AQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4BFGSZ_1ls
hope to see u soon, I'm rooting for u too be well 🔥
🔥
@ALeXaNdEr0712 🌳🌸
really enjoyed the songs Alex, ty for sharing ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uM3YROq_cLY
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wh-bV0pWDdY
(In the video the guy is wearing a skull mask, just thought to mention it in case a trigger )
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ixsCO1MyTBc
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C9KAf-7-knE
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SCVTjmygWuU
I hope you will be okay, sending lots of strength. I know it’s been really tough for you lately, and probably the hardest and it must feel really lonely and hopeless that nothing will ever get better and there is no way out, lots of feelings and not many words to share it. It’s super hard. just keep hanging in there. I believe in you ❤️ You are one of the strongest and kindest people I know.
There can be nicer days too ahead.
Sending you so many best wishes you will be in my thoughts. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
with love
Flame
@ferventflame
Hi Flame
I really liked ur songs choices I've been listening to all the other songs u shared with me the other day too thanks they have been real nice and helpful, music is important like that makes u understand stuff and says stuff u can't say sometimes too I like the song of the girl that went to the sea a lot and clay pigeons it's only thing I've been listening to lately so was a bit hard to think of other songs to share it's been a bit hard to think lately
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USom8PhOXgs this song reminds me of the poem of that drunken fisherman I've been reading it a lot and still dont understand much tho but u said it talks about the man's view on life and God, this song is about that is about death and life and God and I think it sounds like a poem too, there's is a comment someone wrote on the comment section that explains a bit the song maybe u can find it if not i'll show u some other time cause it's long, I really like this song makes me think a lot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0oWKc3J9Aw Lord Huron is real good I like songs that tell a story and he has great stories all their songs are real good if u like it u can listen to all his other songs there are a bunch of western stories and makes me think a lot too, sometimes I just try to focus on the stories and try to forget about my life and myself and it helps a bit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RzhFZmY3Ik so u know sleeping at last now, their Atlas project is real good, this song is about the beginning of life and humankind I guess
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eA98xJByTzo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKc4I_cK0JU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnCi_i92bZ8
Gregory Alan Isakov it's one of my all time favorites few things help me with anxiety like listening to his songs, they are real calm and I like his stories too, all his songs are real good so here are a few.
thanks for the message and for talking to me, I am sorry if sometimes I am not that good at saying stuff about myself, I hope u are taking it easy and I am rooting for u always, I hope to see u soon 🔥
Alex
@ALeXaNdEr0712
I really do enjoy talking with you even if it’s about things that aren’t cheery or if you aren’t feeling well. I appreciate it you sharing and trying to talk about it, it’s so hard to put things into words anyways. I really don’t think you spoke anything bad that day, (i am not very good at knowing what’s proper to say or not either) so it’s all good. I wouldn’t worry or apologise for it. Sometimes yeah it does help to share and feel understood sometimes not. I do wish I could have supported you better, but yeah don’t refrain from sharing thinking it’s bad stuff in future. I do think you are really strong, and resilient, no matter what others say or make you feel or how your thoughts may make you feel, you really are strong. Probably not be much to hear, I guess, and it probably feels so tiring to just keep trying so hard when everything keeps falling apart ):
I really loved the song the trapeze swinger, yeah I think I found the long comment. Wow really explains the lyrics so nicely and in a way I didn’t imagine the first time I heard the song. Yeah it does talk about death, life and moving on. It’s so hard to lose people we care about, I think not understanding fully why it happened or not coming in terms to accept it makes it difficult. Even through it all, the pain still lingers around always. I do wonder how the grief of the guy losing his girl he loves to going to another city differs from the girl grieving at his funeral, or the guy going through all his life and in a way grieving his own death and loss of his human life on earth while he waits to get into heaven or wherever place he is going. Although I do like to imagine that once you die you don’t feel human emotions of pain and hurt, It does feel nicer to imagine that, than going to another life and still carry with such heavy emotions, doesn’t it?
Yeah I can see why GAI helps you feel calmer he does have that voice and the guitar too, it’s like flying over the soft breeze. Lord Huron is good too have had only heard of his the night we met before, he does have that fairytale feel you describe, moving away from the realities of life. It’s very dreamy.
I have been listening to the weatherman album of GAI good stuff. Ty for sharing alex ❤️ x
@ferventflame
Some songs for you some of them the are instrumental but I really like them, thought you might too :-
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=f-BrkEo8knM
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gRUyC9veWtw
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jWqPpmLsSiw
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=To5lPPbc2PU
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hjpF8ukSrvk
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5mF4pKSi2SU
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Gt21sHvlsac
❤️
Love
flame
@ferventflame
Take care of yourself Flame and be well, thanks for everything, you are nice and kind and smart and warm and a good person, and I believe in u always and if someone else says something different they can go and fuck themselves, whatever happens, you can get through it and take it easy, one day at a time and one minute at a time if needed, thanks for all the good words and stuff u have said I do think about it a lot, I appreciate everything and for keeping me company many times and just being there cause it helped a lot and u are real patient u were the only person that really talked to me when I didn't talk much and truly listened and thanks for trying and all the songs and poems and good stuff, take care of Enzo and the nameless cows and remember it's ok not to be ok. I didn't know how to make a youtube playlist :/ and I couldnt think of many songs ngl but here are some for the next 9 months, I'll see u in May or August. I am rooting for you and hoping for the best. 🌸
Alex
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dASZrWqFqXM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLWV58BhE7Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blYo4WheVgA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PSOTtemBy0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdSzDsAMdK0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTcb_33-DiI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOsIx3ayNb8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kaaO3kv3LPQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIpZZeKx56I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoMoqDw7VEA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9IluQf7iaE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW0gQ8HCUns
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyepxjhlxdI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyepxjhlxdI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pia_wC_Vd6U
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivl4fPFCJqc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czFgKa7YcIQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQmU1fN6ZJw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8twpQTna_9w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9eJgMOf4m0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSbGkON-aC4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_UH_SzY1wc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUKitYfZMvs
Hi
dunno what to say, I hope you are ok and feeling a bit better, I liked all ur songs maybe my favorite was I lost something in the hills it was real good, but all of them were tbh
I think maybe I shared a lot of songs sorry about that
Take it easy and be well, thanks for everything and for always being nice and all that good stuff and I'm sorry if I ever said anything wrong, wishing u the best always.
Alex
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2SrIJrvHZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d08TTXwl3P8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UafzmvSlcoo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3I7ME1oacMA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fPqmceCf90
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuXtcFS7Xsc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRnkFeywfBE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfEg_U3Xr3o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raHb6mVcJkk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0pUSIqhuNc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nddEvTKVMWc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epWevHXhgD0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mY7nGSFB8Qw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DayCEWCRuws
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Man4Xw8Xypo
:/ I messed up the post I think u can see it tho
@ALeXaNdEr0712
You were missed
@ferventflame
u are back! Flame I'm so freaking happy to know u are back!
Lol Flame I missed ur Playlists. How have u been? I've been thinking lots about u lately.
Thanks for the songs I have bunch to show u too.
I'm ok, real happy to see u again.
🔥
Did u see the songs I left for u when u left? They are there but I kinda messed up the post.
u were missed to, u have no idea how much.
@ALeXaNdEr0712
Alex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes!! I screenshot them :3 so would read them time to time, when I felt low, really was a huge boost of moral support . 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛
would listen to the songs you sent as well, thank you 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍
I hope you are ok! Stay strong 💪 I am ok too, took a gap year so going to college this year. Miss seeing you around in chat rooms here, heh.
Sending lots of love
💐
@ferventflame
Okay Okay?
I'm glad it helped, u have no idea how much u were missed Flame, I guess we don't really appreciate things or people much till they gone.
U still have the tea garden, and cute Enzo he looks happy. Good luck in college I hope u have a good time and good experiences.
I can't believe u are n the adult side now, how is it? and yea ain't the same not having u in the chatrooms I'll miss that a lot
I'm listening to ur songs thanks
Some songs for u 🔥
🌳
@ALeXaNdEr0712
yes okay okay (: ,
I wish we could talk in the chat rooms, it’s sucks on the adult side without you, I barely talk there.
What have you been up to ? Tell me everything.
Sending you lots of love
been listening to your songs 🤍🤍🤍
@ferventflame
Yea I miss talking with u n the chatrooms too.
Idk I've been working lots and it's summer break now. I have some pics for u of when I've been to the woods
I like ur songs lots I've been listening to rock bottom riser today and tomorrow will be I'm going away.
How are you? What are u upto?
@ALeXaNdEr0712
not much really studying, reading, Ik I don’t have school but yeh I enjoy studying.
Have you read something new?
@ALeXaNdEr0712
what have you been working at ? how have you changed :0
That is the river you love going to!! So beautiful, cozy too, it’s a little stream.
@ferventflame
I guess lots of things have changed too and I've changed too. I'm gonna try post the pics here.
@ferventflame 
@ALeXaNdEr0712
this is a river bank in my grandma s city, felt really peaceful, like nothing has happened ever , just I exist there .
these pics are from the beach and hills near my college
It's a very sad poem, painful too, "what shall we do, O cheated heart?"
@ALeXaNdEr0712
the waterfall and the forest looks very nice, is it safe to be out there? well take care whenever you are there. it looks very nice though would love to be there
@ferventflame
Wow it looks real beautiful and exotic, I like the river and how u described it, nature does feel like that like u can just exist there, I feel like that when I go to the river and the woods it's so quiet and only thing u can hear is the birds and bugs, feels safe.
The waterfall is safe there's this other place where there are more waterfalls if I go there I'll take some pics.
U can see lots of deer sometimes
I took this 2 pics last winter
There's this park where there's lots of peacocks around and there's also a part of town where there's lots of wild turkeys if I see some I'll try take a pic
@ferventflame
it's good to study if that's what u enjoy doing, I don't really read books or stuff just Bukowski.
Yea it's a part of the river and the woods, there are other places too I'll take pics when I go.
I'm working at the bakery and doing other stuff too, helping people out and stuff like that sometimes for extra money.
Oh I'm glad u have figured out some stuff and u feel like u can manage certain things better now, yea it's true finding something that distracts u and keeps u busy can help.
Yea I wasn't sure what pfp to choose, I ain't very good at dealing with stuff still and idk I think I have a lot of mood swings and that pfp seemed right at the time. I think I'll change it.
Do you remember the tree pfp I used to have and didn't change it for like over a year or so?
I don't think you'd like me much now idk I feel like in a lot of ways I haven't learned to deal with myself and things n a good way. But also I guess I talk more now, maybe too much.
I thought a lot about u while u were gone yk. How u were always so kind to me, I don't think I've ever met anyone like u. You are a very special person Flame and I'm sorry I never said it before.
I'm listening to I'm going away today and Elusive Butterfly tomorrow. I really liked that Dave Bixby song, Morning Sun. I'm a man of constant sorrow is a great one too, but I haven't heard that version before, it was good.
How are you? What are u upto? Ready for College? U going to stay in ur city or go somewhere else?
Say hi to Enzo and if u ever need to talk or anything I'm here for u 🔥 take care yea and hope u can sleep
@ALeXaNdEr0712
cher Alex
What is the bakery job like? I had a friend who did it for a while, said would get a lot burns.
I don't really think you have changed at all, you do talk more, which is nice as well, told you it takes time, I can understand that it may seem you are talking way too much sometimes though, I feel like that all the time too, so I prefer staying quiet.
when you say deal with yourself with not good means, do you mean drinking and all?
I will still always think of you kindly Alex, its okay, I know you are going through a *** period, obviously there are things about ourselves I guess that we could always do better. you wouldn't like some aspects of me either. its okay to be a work in progress. though I do wish you quit it, but I am not super sure how it works. Because I know it's really hard.
Alex <3 I really appreciate our friendship, being able to be there for you in some way, gives me immense joy and gratitude. You are very kind, understanding contrary to how you often perceive yourself as.
I tried your fav sandwich, tomatoes and mayo on bread, was really good.
I hope we get to remain in touch for a long time. Even though won't be able to talk sometimes, but will be around.
Yeah was very busy with moving and things, at college now finally, classes starting tomorrow. I am excited to study again, bit nervous, I want to be at top of the class.
you too Alex if you ever need to vent or talk about random *** or anything really, feel free. I guess it kinda sucks in this forum format but oh well.
enzo sends a lot of love to you, I miss him , I miss you too.
lots of love
flame
🔥🌸
some poems for you
- sad ones
on life
-some hopeful ones
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45480/when-lilacs-last-in-the-dooryard-bloomd
https://www.themarginalian.org/2015/05/12/simone-weil-pain/
https://soundcloud.com/brainpicker/101-year-old-holocaust-survivor-helen-fagin-reads-walt-whitman
I haven't read a lot of Walt Whitman but I think you would like him, and Cormac mc Cathy, its okay if you don't too <3
take your time <3
@ferventflame
I hate my job :') my manager is not great, it's exhausting I'm not in the kitchen much I do help there sometimes, I mostly clean, carry stuff, organize stuff, basically help around.
I work doing stuff for people too, my uncle works at this complex for elders, disabled people and people with low income, he does maintainace, I go there sometimes to help him, and I've met lots of people there that always need help with something, so they pay me, and I work for a guy that has a disability too.
I think it was better when I didn't talk much, idk stuff happened and it really messed me up, I still don't really talk much in real life, that hasn't changed, and I still stay away from everybody. But it's been different here. I do wish we could talk n the chatrooms tho, I never liked the forum format much and it's kinda weird when everyone can read it and know the stuff I say.
I wouldn't judge u Flame, I get life is hard and we all have our struggles and even if there's parts of u that u think people wouldn't understand or like it makes sense and I'd never judge u for that.
I'm glad u liked the tomato sandwich, did u put salt and pepper too?
I appreciate u lots too Flame, u have always been extremely kind to me and u were there when nobody else was, and always extremely patient and calming. Thanks 💚 it taught me a lot and helped me a lot too.
I'm real happy that u are going to college! I hope the first day was good and that u get to have lots of great and positive experiences, how does it feels to be away from home?
I bet it's hard to be away from Enzo. I know u will do great and I believe in u.
I listened to your songs btw I'll share more song later.
And I'll read the poems too, thanks (:
Lol I can't remember which pfp I had, but I just choose one that feels right in the moment. I change it a lot. I like birds and wolves, sometimes I guess I feel real angry so wolves make sense.
Birds when I feel real depressed I guess idk it depends.
I love ur pfp, it's always calming to look at.
Take care Flame it honestly makes me real happy to hear from u, some good when things are bad, thank u 🔥
also wanted to say be careful with the kitchen job <3 i have heard it can be dangerous, lots of burns and stuff, be careful, and take care of yourself . sending lots of love.
and do keep talking, to people, doesn't have to be irl, i know you have some nice friends here <3
I know I don't get your pain, most of it anyways, I don't like to admit that, because I truly wish you didn't feel alone about the pain. But I really believe in you alex, and in your strength, even though you feel otherwise. Sometimes when I am having a hard night I think about you, starsie and realise it will be fine. So yeah you help me a lot. Thank you 💐.
I know these sentences seem random sorry about it.