How to get out of a funk / slump
hi everyone. because of some sudden life changes that happened end of 2021, ive been in some sort of nearly constant slump. the next big thing happening in life is university, but that will start in 5 months away from now. i can not seem to get myself up because i do not feel like right now, in this moment, i dont have much to look forward to. where i live right now, i dont have any friend to make plans with and i know i shouldnt depend my plans on those around me but i really am tired of being by myself. i meditate, i do yoga, but i just cant seem to find any inspiration. its like everyday is repeating itself over and over again.
does anyone have any tips to share on how to get out of this, even if its just something small? thank you for reading until this point ❤️
Hi!
Thanks to covid I was in a pretty similar state and I got into a really bad depressive episode new years eve. The new year was always a trigger for my anxiety, but the slump I was in already made this one turn into a depression.
I think you're already doing amazing. I know how bad it feels to have nothing to do in your day, so Meditation and Yoga regularly is already huge!
I'd recommend daily walks first, so you get more movement outside again. They don't have to be long but it's nice to have a change of scenery every now and then. Then I'd also recommend small talk. I know that this might be a "ughhh, but I hate small talk" kinda situation for some people, but for me a lot of my motivation came back after connecting more with my community. A little "how are you?" to the cashier when buying groceries can turn into a "last week I watched this movie! You should check it out!"
Small talk for me is such an easy way to find connection to the surrounding and to my neighbors. It took a lot of work to be able to do it since I'm pretty shy and introverted and mentally ill... But once I pushed past that I started to actually look forward to those moments where I could help a grandma with her bags or a woman stopped to ask me for directions.
And then: find hobbies.
I can't help you much with that since this is the point where I'm stuck myself right now. It feels scary to start something new like that. But if you can't see yourself going out for hobbies, try new ones at home! Maybe pick up gardening (you can do that indoors as well) or something like that. There are huge communities online of people gardening on their balcony or in their apartment. Maybe there's a community garden around your place where you can try find connections. And sometimes it's enough to just join a random forum online and write a blog about how you've been thinking about starting but don't know where. And suddenly your inbox will be full with people telling you about their passion and it won't be as hard anymore to try it yourself.
I hope you find motivation again soon and that you'll slowly figure things out! You got this, even if it's frustrating right now.
@miillktea hi there. thank you very much for sharing your experience and kind words - it is comforting to hear that from someone who is going through a similar thing. actually especially the small talk part sounds really refreshing to me. due to covid i wasnt able to meet new people, and all of my old friends left town so its just me and im really craving social interaction. small talk might really help with that. i can imagine that those small conversations with those people would have uplifted you!
and yeah ... hobbies. i really should find some. i do like plants & i have 6 of them (very easy ones though) but they bring me great joy!
the thing is, i actually should be making plans for the next 5 months in order to have a good resume for later purposes but i just cant seem to get my butt up and im usually a very productive person. but i think just in general i should just stop thinking too much and just start doing, which is very hard as a natural overthinker and overplanner.
You're absolutely welcome.
I find it calming to know there are people who suffer with the same things I do, too. So if sharing my experience helps I'll gladly do.
Yeah, the small talk is incredible. I wish I could go back in time to tell my younger self that it's something nice and to start with it earlier. In general I've learned that speaking with people can change a lot.
For starters saying hello, thank you and goodbye is a pretty solid opening to establishing more small talk. And although I've done it for myself and my connections, I never met a cashier that wasn't happy about a little bit of talk when the store was running slowly. Keeps you awake.
Hobbies are great. It's hard to find them and hard to make them into a habit, but once they are they help a great lot.
I get that. I totally do. I'm also a chronic overthinker and I plan more than I actually do. But something I've recently read is "everything worth doing is worth doing poorly". If you want to polish up your resume on paper, even one line is better than non. If you want to go out and do some volunteering, even calling the place is better than never going in the first place.
If you tend to plan everything out so much that you forget to do it, make your steps so small they don't need planning to do them.
@miillktea totally agree with what youre saying. the only thing from stopping me signing up for even only one thing to have on my resume is that i am scared that the moment i sign up for something i find something better and then can not do that ... but i know that is kind of stupid
That is absolutely understandable.
But you do can do something else if you find something better, at least until you're officially starting. And even then, just because you can't do it right now there will maybe be a lot of things you can do in the future.
If you're doing one thing for work, you can still do a whoooole lot of things as a hobby! Some even got degrees in fields just as hobbies.
You got this!
Hi Hemlock, I just got out of a funk myself and it is not be an ideal or desirable state to be in. A lesson I learned is that the more we dread the funk or down phase, the more intense or negative it would feel.
Maybe everything happens for a reason. So, the funk is there as a natural state of thing, like changing weather. We don’t always like the rain, but it helps watering life. My own down phase taught me many valuable lessons when I spent that time looking inwards. Perhaps, this phase can be an opportunity in itself for you too?
goodluck and thanks again for sharing 🤓
@energeticWest1129 i totally agree that being in a funk usually helps us to take a step back and reflect and recenter our life path!! that is definitely the case. however, ive been in this funk for 6 months now and i have done all the reflection i could do and now its just really rather me not finding my sparkle in life and not having the strength to somehow get myself back up. But yes, totally agree.
@dynamicHemlock1736 Hi I'm new here. I'm also a university student just like yourself and your current situation is super close to my own. I understand where you are coming from. All of the others who mentioned walking are right. It is so good for your health so I second that. One thing that might help is to write a letter to yourself. I did this once and although I was skeptical at first, it turned out to be really cathartic. Just get a piece of paper and pour out your soul onto it, whatever wants to come out just let it. Write down how you feel, or what you wish to have happen in life. Some people once they are done choose to get rid of the letter to process their feelings, others keep it as a way to encourage themselves. Another thing you might consider is limiting how much sugar you eat (if you are a sugar eater that is) Too much sugar has been scientifically shown to make people depressed. I know it might seem small but I have found it makes a difference for me. Last thing I recommend is getting out and doing service in your community if possible. It can take your mind off things and give you something to do that is making a difference. If you ever want to chat, I would love to listen. Best of luck.
@stargirl2000 I also think a vision board would help you a lot. You just make a board of all the things that inspire you, and cut out pictures of the things you like pasted on paper to make a collage.
@stargirl2000 hi! thanks for sharing. i actually live a super healthy lifestyle - i only eat healthy food, i do yoga, i meditate and all of that but it just still seems so hard for me to get up and make a change in my life. Its like my interest in the present moment is gone? Its kind of weird. But yes, i am hoping to be able to do some volunteering. vision boards are also a great idea, and i do them often, but i dont take the actual steps to get to these experiences on the vision boards
@dynamicHemlock1736 I also think a vision board would help you a lot. You just make a board of all the things that inspire you, and cut out pictures of the things you like pasted on paper to make a collage.
@dynamicHemlock1736
I haven't got much to add here Hemlock except that I think slumps are a normal part of life. Some days/months/years we're more productive and active and other times we need to rest, recharge. Know that the wheel of fortune will turn eventually. 😊
Also wanted to say what amazing, insightful and thoughtful members we have here! It makes my heart melt to see you all supporting each other. Faith in humanity restored ❤
✨🦊✨
@dynamicHemlock1736
I am in this same situation, but haven't done much to try to get out of it. In the past, I was pretty successful by just going places. Even though I don't have any friends, just being around people, at a cafe, or shops, really helped me, even if I didn't actually interact with anyone. I think I need to start doing this again.