— A letter between my overwhelmed self and my higher, Star. 

🎭Star: “You’re wounded because of something you haven’t understood yet. It’s your lack of understanding and mastery that hurts you. Not them. When you know better. Not only will you understand, you will truly have “inner strength” and that will give you healing and a new light of seeing yourself, your heart, and the world”

Me: “But, I’m too tired and devastated now to understand. I am out of gas and can’t be forced to run any further”

🎭Star: “It’s okay. Understanding and knowing’s timeless. It doesn’t ask nor demand you to meet them now. They will arrive once you are ready. We love you, Nisa (Fill in your name)”

Me: “I feel like I am that person who can’t accept me for expressing myself. And I remember hoping for her to have the ability to contain me to hold space for my weakness or for me to wrong even just for a while. I needed her to be there. Now I understand her state of incapability and tiredness. Maybe this is a way for me to be more compassionate towards her? But, I feel inadequate and not greater than who I thought I could be”

🎭Star: “It’s okay. All is well. Love waits. Love is always there waiting for you and reminds you through various ways of its truth that it is unconditional. It is limitless. It is infinite. Open your heart to receive love, my love, Nisa (Fill in your name). You’re perfectly imperfect, but I know you deserve it and I believe you’re perfect in the way you have.”

Me: “...”

By Annisa Azzahra