Motivation & Accountability Community

Weekly sharing of Goals! Week #49 2024 (Monday 12/02/24 - Sunday 12/08/24)

by IsayUncle

9 hours ago

Weekly sharing of Goals! Week #48 2024 (Monday 11/25/24 - Sunday 12/01/24)

by IsayUncle

3 days ago

2024 November Stay STUCK in my own Muck OR FIGHT like never before!

by IsayUncle

Saturday

Weekly sharing of Goals! Week #46 2024 (Monday 11/11/24 - Sunday 11/17/24)

by IsayUncle

Wednesday

Conquering your goals: Setting the right goals!

by Hope

Tuesday

...See more Hi everyone! I hope this message finds you well. We’re excited to kick off our series with an important topic: setting the right goals. Often, we become so fixated on achieving certain goals that we forget to ask if they’re truly worth pursuing. I recently saw a social media post that resonated with me: “Just because something is hard to achieve doesn’t mean it’s worth having.” This got me thinking—sometimes we chase after goals simply because they’re challenging, assuming that difficulty equates to value. But is that always the case? Many of us find ourselves striving for goals that might not be right for us for several reasons: * Social Pressure: You might feel the urge to achieve something because others around you are doing it. For instance, you might desire a particular car just because your trendy cousin has one. * Seeking External Validation: We often pursue goals to gain approval from others or to enhance our self-worth. For example, people sometimes go through drastic changes in appearance or lifestyle to be admired or accepted. * Uncertainty About What You Want: If you’re unsure of your own desires or values, you might end up chasing whatever seems popular or desirable at the moment. * Insecurities: Sometimes, we set goals to address personal insecurities or boost our self-esteem. For instance, buying designer clothes might be an attempt to feel more valuable or worthy. It’s completely normal to care about others' opinions, want to be liked, or struggle with insecurities. The problem arises when we pursue goals just to escape these feelings without a deeper purpose. It’s like putting a band-aid on a wound instead of addressing the root cause. To avoid chasing the wrong goals, let’s start by reflecting on what truly matters to us. Begin by considering your core values and evaluating whether your goals align with them. Here are some common core values to consider: * Integrity: Adhering to strong moral and ethical principles. (e.g., Honesty, trustworthiness, transparency) * Responsibility: Taking accountability for your actions and duties. (e.g., Dependability, reliability, commitment) * Compassion: Showing empathy and concern for others’ well-being. (e.g., Kindness, supportiveness, generosity) * Justice: Advocating for fairness and equality. (e.g., Fairness, equality, impartiality) * Family: Prioritizing relationships and responsibilities within your family. (e.g., Loyalty, nurturing, support) * Health: Prioritizing physical and mental well-being. (e.g., Wellness, balance, self-care) ❗If you don't know what values matter to you. Consider this activity! [https://www.7cups.com/forum/selfesteem/BuildingSelfesteemseries_2655/BuildingselfesteemValueclarification_322221/] Tasks to complete (You are required to complete the tasks if you aim to get the certificate associated with the series) Please complete both * Identify which core values resonate with you most and reflect on whether your goals align with the life you truly desire. You can choose values not listed here. * Say you have achieved this goal. What does your life look like now? Using your words, paint a vivid picture of it. Take us there! Be as specific as possible (without giving personal details) Looking forward to hearing your thoughts! Further Reading Value clarification [https://www.7cups.com/forum/selfesteem/BuildingSelfesteemseries_2655/BuildingselfesteemValueclarification_322221/] ------------------------- This post is part of the Conquering Your Goals Series. Check out all the posts here. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/motivation/GoalsandAccomplishments_653/ConqueringyourgoalsMasterpost_334193/]

Weekly sharing of Goals! Week #47 2024 (Monday 11/18/24 - Sunday 11/24/24)

by IsayUncle

November 25th

Conquering your Goals: Celebrating Milestones

by Hope

November 16th

...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. This week in our Conquering Your Goals series we are talking about celebrating milestones. Most of our goals in life can take time, sometimes it can feel like we have nothing to celebrate until we fully complete our goal. This can encourage us to rush towards our finish line and be disheartened when inevitable setbacks or delays come our way. One way to get out of the all-or-nothing mindset [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/Distortion3BlackandWhiteThinking_315340/]and appreciate progress over perfection is to celebrate milestones. A milestone is a significant point or achievement along the journey toward completing a larger goal. Milestones break down a goal into smaller, more manageable tasks or achievements, providing opportunities to measure progress, celebrate success, and maintain motivation. Examples of milestones in goal setting include: * Completing a key task: For example, writing the first chapter of a book. * Reaching a percentage of the goal: Such as losing 10% of a total weight loss or gain goal. * Completing part of the goal: Reaching a 1-mile run every week on your journey towards doing 5-mile runs every week. * Doing something for X days: Meditating for 7 days * Reaching a new streak: Logging steps for 30 days in a row. Breaking bigger goals into milestones Example: Reduce time spent on screens to 1 hour everyday outside of work. Possible milestones * Time tracked every day for 15 days * Reduced screen time by 30 minutes per day from the baseline. * Read a book instead of being on the phone before bed for 7 days Ways to Celebrate In most cases, you can celebrate the way you celebrate most of your accomplishments. For some people this means getting a sweet treat, for others, it calls for a facial or a pedicure, etc. However, you need to be mindful of not celebrating in a way that feeds the habit you are trying to break. For example, don’t celebrate weight loss by binging for a day. Similarly, don’t celebrate reduced screen time by watching a Netflix series or meeting a money-saving milestone by going shopping. Here are some ideas: * Treat yourself to new clothes to reach a weight loss or gain goal * Go for a movie to celebrate reaching 10,000 steps every day for 7 days. * Invest in your new hobby to reduce your screen time by 1 hour (getting a new paintbrush) * Develop a personal ritual that you perform every time you reach a milestone. 📣Tasks for you For the goals you’ve set, think about three key milestones you’re excited to reach. For each milestone, describe: * The Milestone: What is the specific achievement or progress point you’re aiming for? * How You’ll Celebrate: What meaningful or enjoyable activity will you do to celebrate reaching this milestone? ------------------------- This post is part of the Conquering Your Goals Series. Check out all the posts here. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/motivation/GoalsandAccomplishments_653/ConqueringyourgoalsMasterpost_334193/]

Conquering your goals: Accountability

by Hope

November 16th

...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. This week in our Conquering Your Goals series we are talking about accountability. If you have not completed the posts before this, please do so in the order they have been posted so you can follow along better. Accountability here means taking responsibility for working toward your goals and staying on track. It’s about being honest with yourself (or someone else) about your progress. Honesty is the key driver of accountability, there is no accountability where there is a lack of honesty and this is where we often struggle, being honest with ourselves is hard. Being honest with ourselves is hard, especially when goals get tough, but it’s a crucial step in making real progress. To ensure we are being honest, we need an external system of accountability. The key is to get out of our minds, stop relying on our thoughts, and have a more concrete view of our progress. Internal motivation is great, but having an external reminder, like a friend or app, makes it easier to stay consistent. Here are some ways you can stay accountable * Using tracking Apps. For example: * My fitness pal/chronometer for tracking calorie intake if you are trying to gain or lose weight. * Fitbit or the likes of it for tracking steps to measure progress * Use a planner to write down your money spent every day to stay on track for financial goals * Telling your friend about your goals and asking them to check in (Pick a friend who’s reliable and willing to give you that nudge when you need it!) * Joining a community focused on achieving the same goal as you. If you wish to run, see if you can join a running group. In short, if you can find some metric to track daily that relates to your goal, you will end up with a very solid accountability system. The goal is to keep the metric realistic, simple and easy to track. For example, if you have a steps tracking tool, you can easily track your steps but if you don’t, pick a different metric or buy the tool. Don’t worry if apps or planners aren’t your thing. The key is finding a system that works for you, even if it's just writing in a notebook or setting reminders on your phone. Making it visual Creating any one system of accountability is excellent but you can take it to the next level by adding a visual element to it. So you would take the tracking you are already doing but put it somewhere visible so you are more aware of your progress or lack thereof. For example, if your goal is to reach 10,000 steps every day. You can buy a calendar, hang it somewhere visible, and write down the steps you took every night before bed. This in itself can act as an outside motivator and aid to your interest in progressing towards your goal You can view the calender template here, copy it, and edit it to keep track of your goals! I recommend using a physical calender (or even print an online one) and hanging it somewhere you [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1HeNWlpSt97qDnMusYok-UsTqaL9wU8JdoF0ZtUN4eDA/edit?usp=sharing] Tracking at your lowest counts the most! There are going to be days when you fall off the wagon when you are so behind your goal that it feels embarrassing to track the day, that is when you must track it! We allow ourselves to make mistakes, we accept our shortcomings but we do not turn a blind eye to them. If your goal is to spend 1 hour on your screen but instead it was an 8-hour day, you track that 8 hours! 📣Tasks for you * Think of the goal you have set for yourself. Tell us an accountability system you will use. Be specific! * How will you make it visual? (keep the tracking somewhere where you see it regularly) ------------------------- This post is part of the Conquering Your Goals Series. Check out all the posts here. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/motivation/GoalsandAccomplishments_653/ConqueringyourgoalsMasterpost_334193/]

Conquering your goals: Motivation, Discipline and Resilience

by Hope

November 16th

...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. We have covered quite a few topics so far in our Conquering Your Goals series. Last week we talked about dealing with setbacks. This week we will dive into the role of Motivation (intrinsic, extrinsic) and Discipline, Consistency, Grit, and Perseverance. Motivation (Intrinsic and Extrinsic) When you are intrinsically motivated, you engage in an activity because you enjoy it and get personal satisfaction from doing it. When you are extrinsically motivated, you do something to gain an external reward. An example of intrinsic motivation is learning about history because you are interested in a certain period. As for extrinsic motivation, you learn about history because you want a good grade. Most of our goals aligned with our core values tend to lean more toward intrinsically motivated. You may wish to walk more because you enjoy feeling more mobile. But at times people can strive to achieve something as they are motivated extrinsically, for example wanting to walk more so you can win the steps competition at your office. Typically you want a combination of both to excel at your goals! For example, if you wish to walk more and feel better, you may not feel like walking every day. It can help to have a tracking app that encourages your goal and acts as an extrinsic motivator. Discipline Even though motivation is talked about more often, It is usually far more helpful in getting you started than in keeping you motivated. As motivation can be quite inconsistent, your mood and external factors can greatly dictate how motivated you feel to achieve certain goals. To follow through with your plans, you need discipline. Discipline is the ability to consistently follow through on your commitments, regardless of whether you feel motivated at the moment. It involves self-control, routine, and the willingness to do what needs to be done even when you don’t feel like it. One of the key realizations to remaining disciplined is accepting that there will be days when you will not feel like doing the things you need to do to reach your goals (this excludes valid restrictions such as a decline in health or unexpected life challenges). One way to reinforce discipline is to ensure there is accountability. You are more likely to do the thing you don’t want to do if there is some form of tracking or someone watching your progress. Consistency, Grit, and Perseverance. Consistency is likely one of the most important dictators of whether you will reach your goal. If you can master showing up, it will greatly help your chances of having what you desire. To be consistent with something, one requires grit and perseverance against all odds. Grit means sticking with something and working hard, even when it gets tough for a long period of time, for us to display grit, we need to persevere in the face of adversity. 📢Tasks (Please complete both) * For the goal you’ve set, describe the intrinsic and extrinsic motivations that drive you. * Reflect on a goal you’ve achieved in the past and consider how grit played a role in reaching that goal. Further Reading GRIT by Angela Duckworth [https://youtu.be/sWctLEdIgi4?si=tjG7Xfti_3KWtv7G] ------------------------- [https://jamesclear.com/how-to-stop-procrastinating] This post is part of the Conquering Your Goals Series. Check out all the posts here. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/motivation/GoalsandAccomplishments_653/ConqueringyourgoalsMasterpost_334193/]

Conquering your Goals: Dealing with Setbacks

by Hope

November 16th

...See more Hi everyone, I hope you are doing well. Perhaps one of the most important factors determining whether our goals are met is our approach to setbacks. In an ideal world, we can do all the things we wish to reach our goals in the manner we find best suited but life usually has other plans. Unfortunately, no matter how solid your goal-setting skills are, you can not weave out all possible setbacks. Therefore a better mindset is to expect setbacks and be ready with our tools to tackle them. But I understand and empathize with the reality that on an emotional level, it's not that simple! So let's first reflect on some realities. Here are some reminders in the form of affirmations to help you make peace with the fact that you will face setbacks. Please say these out loud. You can save them and read whenever you need to * I am only human * I am allowed to make mistakes * I do not need to be perfect, I embrace my imperfections * My worth is not tied to my goals * I am capable of navigating setbacks * I can go as slow as I need to * Some progress is still progress and is worth celebrating Think of your goals and the tasks you have set to reach your goals as a creative problem to solve. We do not need to feel bad, guilty, or ashamed for not reaching them for not setting the right tasks, or not following through. Instead, we approach this with curiosity. So when you inevitably reach a point where you have to reconsider some part of your journey, approach it with curiosity and compassion like you are helping a dear friend figure it out. Here are some tools and techniques to utilize when dealing with setbacks Focus on your response Be flexible in your approach to your goals. When unexpected things happen, be open to adapting your plans. For example, if your goal is to become healthier and one of the ways you wish to work on health is by walking 30 minutes every day but it is raining today! You can either decide to take a rest day if it does not rain often or if it does then try an indoor walking workout instead. Similarly, you wished to be more mindful of your expenses but your fridge broke. Instead of worrying about not meeting your budget, explore the most financially responsible way of dealing with the setback, perhaps you need to get it repaired rather than buy a new one or maybe you should get a used fridge instead of a new one etc The 2-minute rule This rule is most helpful for times when you fall off the wagon and you are now at risk of giving up on your goals. The rule is simple, you will do the thing you need to but you are only required to commit to 2 minutes. So you said you would run but you skipped out for a few days, all you need to do is run for at least 2 minutes today. What this does is it helps you get back on track and build a habit. Getting into flow and building a habit is more important in the long run. This helps you be consistent with your goals Ditch the all-or-nothing thinking, embrace the grey! Some progress is still progress! Just because you are not where you wish to be, does not mean it was all a waste. You wanted to run 5k but could only manage 1k, it's still better than where you started! You wished to save 20% of your income but managed only 5%, it's better than the 0 of last month! If you are better than where you started, you did well! Reflect on how realistic your goal is If you find yourself consistently falling behind on the tasks you have set to reach your goal or you do the tasks but don’t reach the goal, there is a problem with the goal you have set or the tasks you are doing. For example, you want to be active and you have pushed and pulled yourself to be consistent at the gym and its been a month, you have only gone 10 days and you hated it. Maybe its too soon? Maybe its not for you at all. Consider walking instead! Another example is that you wished to cut down screen time, you did all your tasks you set out to do. You spend time on other activities, you have scheduled more time with friends but still you find yourself drawn to those social media notifications. Maybe you need to add a task of deleting X apps, maybe you can’t resist as well as you thought you could The task of the week! (Please complete both) * Say to yourself the affirmations listed in this post. Just tell us it's done! * What is one setback that may come your way in relevance to the goal you have set for yourself in our goal-setting techniques post and what one method from this post can you use to overcome it? Further reading Right Goal, Wrong Path [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/GlensNookCommunity_547/RightGoalWrongPath_318419/] How to Stop Procrastinating by Using the “2-Minute Rule” [https://jamesclear.com/how-to-stop-procrastinating] ------------------------- [https://jamesclear.com/how-to-stop-procrastinating] This post is part of the Conquering Your Goals Series. Check out all the posts here. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/motivation/GoalsandAccomplishments_653/ConqueringyourgoalsMasterpost_334193/]

Conquering your Goals: Goal Setting Techniques

by Hope

November 11th

...See more Hi everyone, I hope you are doing well. It's time for another post in the Conquering Your Goals series. In this series, we have covered setting the right goals, setting up systems to reach our goals and the role of mastery and pleasure in goal setting. Now that we have some clarity on the foundational ideas that guide our efforts toward our goals, we can move into the specifics of how to frame/set our goals. This week we will discuss the different goal-setting techniques one can use to set goals you are more likely to achieve. Here are the three techniques we will cover * SMART Goals (Perhaps the most popular and talked about on 7 Cups) * OKRs & Goal Stacking (More commonly used in corporate environments) * Backward Goal Setting/Reverse Engineering (Best for when you don’t know what to do to get where you want to go) No. 1: SMART Goals SMART is an acronym for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. It is a smart way of remembering how to set your goals so that you are more likely to achieve them.. Here is what these terms mean: * Specific: Your goal needs to be specific. Instead of saying you want to feel strong, narrow it down to something specific like ‘I want to be able to bench press 40 pounds’ * Measurable: Your goal needs to have a measure associated with it that you can look at to track progress. Instead of aiming to walk a lot, aim to walk additional XXX steps everyday. * Achievable: It needs to be realistic, If you walk 1000 steps daily and now you want to walk 15000 the next day, that is unrealistic for most people. * Relevant: It should be in alignment with your core values. * Time-bound: There needs to be clarity on when you want to achieve it. How long do you have. Now let's look at a common goal and how it changes when you apply the SMART technique to it Goal: I want to be a good cook. SMART Applied: I will have mastered cooking seasoned rice, two types of lean proteins, and 5 different vegetables by the end of November. No. 2: OKRs (Objectives and Key Results) It stands for Objectives and Key Results. Using this strategy you will phrase the goal in a clear measurable way and then list down 4-6 tasks you will do to achieve this objective. Objective: Where you want to go (It needs to have a metric attached to it so you can tell if you went there!) Key Results: How you plan to get there Let's look at an example of a common goal Goal: I want to reduce my screen time Objective: Reduce screen time, measured by reducing phone usage to less than 1 hour daily by November 15, 2024 * Replace bedtime phone usage with X-book * Replace my phone alarm with an old-school alarm clock * Keep my phone in a separate room * Schedule phone usage times * Only pick up my phone to answer phone calls outside phone usage time. Now when comes Nov 15, I as the goal setter would mark off the KRs I have implemented and then see if I actually managed to reach my goal. If not, adjust your KRs and/or your goal and try again! Usually, companies use OKRs to set goals for every quarter of the year (every 3 months) to stay on track. For personal use, you can use them however you like No. 3: Backward Goal Setting/Reverse Engineering The first two techniques are more suitable when you have a reasonable idea of what you need to do. But sometimes we have a broader idea of what we want but are unsure how to get there. Then it helps to use this technique to get some ideas! Like the name suggests, first we look at what we want to achieve and then we work backwards to the steps we need to take. In the post where we discussed our goals in alignment with core values. Many people identified family as a value they cherish. It so happens to also be one of the more complex areas of goal settings so lets use that as an example. So Alex wishes to have a family where everyone feels like they belong. Here is how she uses this technique. Goal: Create a family environment where everyone feels connected, heard and respected. Let's see what milestones will likely happen before such a goal is realized. Here is what likely will happen: * Family members being able to speak their mind * Conflict resolved in an effective manner * Family comes together in some form of frequent fashion doing things the members want to do * People feel comfortable to share what they truly feel * People come together to celebrate things that matter to them * People will know what everyone is going through Based on the things that should happen before I feel like my family members respect each other and are connected. I think the following milestones need be reached: * Milestone 1: Regular family communication and conflict resolution. * Milestone 2: Consistent and meaningful family activities. * Milestone 3: Established family traditions and rituals. * Milestone 4: Open and honest emotional sharing among family members. Now let's see how one can reach these milestones Milestone 1 (Regular Communication): * Step 1: Educate family members on active listening and empathy. * Step 2: Create a family group chat where there is a weekly prompt that encourages communication * Step 3: Enforce agreed upon guidelines that prevent family members from using the group chat in a way that can create or add to conflict. Milestone 2 (Consistent Family Activities): * Step 1: Have family members send activities they want to do in the family group chat * Step 2: Schedule a monthly family outing or activity that everyone enjoys. Use the group chat so people can vote on what they want to do. Milestone 3 (Family Traditions and Rituals): * Step 1: Create a family calendar where family members add any important things happening in their life. * Step 2: At the weekly meeting, dedicate time to acknowledging/supporting or celebrating the member(s) in their weekly happenings Milestone 4 (Emotional Sharing): * Step 1: Whenever conflict arises, it will be addressed in the family meetings * Step 2: People take turns holding a mug and sharing what they are feeling, others do not talk while the person with the mug shares. They take turns until all things are said * Step 3: The family provides listening support/empathy and write down 3 steps they can take to support the people involved. Same process to support someone going through a tough time. So now Alex can take all these goals and use either the SMART goals technique or OKRs to start working on these smaller steps to reach her goal. More complex goals such as these can take months to years so it helps to break them down and just focus on the very next step. If you use the systems right, your goals will be met while you only focus on whats the next step! Applying these techniques essentially helps you create systems to reach your goals. 🔦Tasks for you (Please complete both) Think of one goal you have. One that is in alignment with your core values. Then complete the following tasks. Part 1: Apply the SMART Method to it. See the example above in SMART section for inspiration. You may keep this answer brief. Part 2: Apply either OKRs OR Backward Goal Setting to the same goal and share with us. Please provide thorough and detailed answers for the second part of the task. If you chose: * OKRs: You will need to make sure the goal is clearly defined, has a measurable element to it, and has at least 4 KRs. The KRs need to be specific * Backward Goal Setting/Reverse Engineering: You only need to talk about 1 milestone that leads to your goal and 2-3 steps to reach that 1 milestone. Refer to the example above to better understand. Note: I understand that these methods can be daunting. You are not aiming for perfection, just apply them as it makes sense and if need be I will provide some feedback on the changes you can make to better use the method and together we will learn by doing! It is common to not get it the first time. ------------------------- This post is part of the Conquering Your Goals Series. Check out all the posts here. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/motivation/GoalsandAccomplishments_653/ConqueringyourgoalsMasterpost_334193/]

Weekly sharing of Goals! Week #44 2024 (Monday 11/04/24 - Sunday 11/10/24)

by IsayUncle

November 10th

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Reviewed Oct 30, 2024

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Community /

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Online Therapy

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Talk to an expert therapist

Very helpful and nice!

Reviewed Oct 30, 2024

@pioneeringKiwi8627

@lavenderPond9860

@Bellawolf

@Sparkle8888

@brightMoon684

@annacat7991

@BeautifullyLostxo

@Ascariel

@DamikaDisorder

@BlueJewelBee

@KevinRodriguez

@bouncyPuppy3520

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