When Failure Became My Greatest Teacher

Failure has been one of my greatest fears. Growing up in a sheltered environment as the eldest child, I was naturally responsible and excelled academically. I avoided sports because I was scared of failure or getting hurt, instead choosing academic extracurriculars where I knew I could succeed. I even overcame a fear of public speaking with tremendous effort, eventually excelling and winning competitions in that realm as well. I rarely participated in activities where failure seemed inevitable, and I always approached life with meticulous planning—creating to-do lists and tackling my weaknesses until they no longer held me back.

But everything changed when I turned 23. It felt as though I had been thrown into a chaotic and unpredictable world where nothing was within my control. For the first time, the clear, comfortable path to success I had envisioned since childhood seemed unreachable. I wasn’t born with a silver spoon, but I had lived a relatively comfortable life. Now, even the smallest things felt like insurmountable challenges. I found myself crying, begging, and praying just to make it through.

My professional life became a mess, and so did my personal life. I battled postpartum depression and faced financial ruin, sinking into debt with no way to sustain even a decent lifestyle, let alone the more extravagant one I had once enjoyed. My family and I live in a cramped two-bedroom apartment, with five people sharing the space, including my brother-in-law. I feel confined to a single room, uncomfortable even in my own home.

I’m currently out of a job, unable to find work that pays enough to make ends meet. Supporting my two children has become an uphill battle, and the jobs I qualify for don’t pay enough to break even. Going back to college to improve my skills or earn a degree feels like a distant dream because I’ve faced rejection after rejection. Once the person who always extended a helping hand, I now find myself on the receiving end, asking for guidance and assistance wherever I can.

The hardest moment came when I didn’t have anything to feed my daughters other than plain rice. Fried rice with salt and chili powder had become our staple dish. One day, we visited a relative's home, and their hospitality was heartwarming. But when it was time to leave, my daughter cried, refusing to go back home. It broke me to realize that, despite my love, the living conditions I was providing were far from what she deserved.

Even in the midst of financial struggles, I refused to give up on my dream. I attended college interviews in different states, surviving on nothing but cheese and bagels, only to face rejection after rejection. I began questioning whether it was smart to keep trying—or even to keep living. These rejections made me feel trapped in a cycle where no degree meant no job, and no job meant no financial stability.

But amidst the despair, I found hope. My faith reminded me that my prayers had been heard, and I just needed to wait for the right time. I held on to the belief that I would one day live a comfortable life. In the meantime, I rediscovered myself. Though I could no longer help people in big ways as I once did, I found joy in the small, simple acts of kindness I could still offer. It was through these small victories that I began to rebuild my strength and determination.

I can’t wait for this chapter to end and for a new beginning, but I will forever remember this chapter in my life. It has taught me that not everyone who looks stable externally is truly doing well. Some people may be silently struggling and too ashamed to ask for help. While I’ve learned there’s no shame in seeking assistance, I also understand how difficult it can be for someone who’s never had to before. In the future, I will make it a priority to look out for those who may feel too embarrassed to ask for help.

Everyone, please share your failure stories—how you overcame them if you already have, or what’s helping you stay sane if you’re still struggling. Let’s find strength in each other’s journeys.