Motivation to do house chores
I've let myself get so behind with housework that I have barely any clean clothes, no clean dishes and everything needs a wipe and vacuum, I could really do with catching up but Ive only ever been known to tidy at the last minute (when visitors are due) and then it ends up being a huge job that takes hours and I usually have to pull an all nighter to finish everything..
It's annoying because I'm going through a bit of a depressive spell (low mood, haven't been able to leave bed for days, loss of apetite, reduced sleep, tiredness), but I also am waiting on an assessment for autism/adhd. Because I struggle to start tasks, get sidetracked mid task or feeling that tasks need to be done thoroughly in the most optimal order, and I also struggle with sensory overload such as the sound of the vacuum anything rough on my hands as I fold clothes, for example. I have ear *** and yellow dish gloves so it's not a valid excuse when I mention sensory concerns.
Anyone would say keeping up with housechores is easy, I should do it little and often, and I've tried making a chores rota in the past but I haven't followed through to enact it.
I feel awful, and consider myself lazy because I seem to do just fine with doomscrolling on YouTube or reading webtoons, but I can't seem to work up enough motivation to get my housechores done.. And realistically doing them would improve my living situation and self esteem.
Anyhow, one way or another I'm going to have to force myself to complete them again as I have visitors due tomorrow afternoon.. But I hope I don't settle back into old patterns afterwards - I feel like a huge loser 😅
On the upside: I'm on Day 3 of my daily 3-5 minute full body workouts. So that's something I can be thankful that I'm trying to form healthy habits. Anyway, it's 2am currently so I'm not sure if what I've written is cohesive or makes sense.
Really, I'm just looking for your advice or experiences for how you managed when living on your own, if there is any coping mechanisms particularly if you have depression or autism/adhd.
It took a lot to say this in such a public platform, because it doesn't paint a flattering picture of me.. I'm ashamed of my situation and understand others would be able to get it under control a lot quicker. Anyway I'll try to get some sleep now, wish me luck tomorrow!
@blueSpring337
hey no need to be ashamed! depression can definitely do this. how did the visit go?
Thank you, the visit was not perfect but it went ahead nonetheless xxx
Hopefully I'll get better with this soon. I have family visiting from abroad and they are absolutely going to want to see my place so I need to get sorted before February for certain.. 🫣🤞
Hi @blueSpring337,
my advice would be to make house hold chores easier is to make sure you have the cleaning supplies nearby so they are easily within reach whenever you need it.
For example, by having a cloth/ spray/ tissues/ wet wipes near the sink/ toilet you can quickly clean the sink and mirror/ surfaces every time you wash your hands/ use the toilet. That way it only takes a minute.
Having a basket by the stairs or living room, so you can dump anything that needs taking up or downstairs in one go next time you go.
Clean as you go when in the kitchen helps so you don’t have a massive pile at the end of your meal.
Clean the shower or bath before you have a shower.
Maybe set a morning routine, like put clothes in the washer every morning, then you don’t have a big pile to wash at the end of the week.
Maybe have a little sit down and think about what cleaning tools you need to make life easier for you and when you could clean/ tidy to fit in with your life’s routine instead of making it a last minute rush.
I hope these tips help.
take care.
These are some really good tips, genuinely will try and put some of these into practice xxx
@blueSpring337
Hey, I totally understand. 😓 YOU CAN MAKE THE CHANGE.... give it time
I think it's very ironic that you posted this topic and your struggle the same day that I posted the following on my thread. I copied and pasted it here.
Three years ago when I started on 7 cups, I was exactly where you are at now. It was terribly hard for me just to get out of bed and do a basic chore, but I knew I had to do it and so I've been working on it for three years. I developed a system for myself then I call, " my core balance chores".
I'm sharing this with you to encourage you not to give up. It was not easy for me but I tried to build the daily foundation starting off was just trying to get one chore done that was the best that I could for that day do due to chronic depression. That started to make me feel better and then I was able to do a little bit more. Try not to get discouraged and don't give up. It's not you, you're not doing nothing wrong. It's just that the chores are recurring and actually quite monotonous and depression sucks the energy out of us. But they need to be done and then we feel good. I think if I can do it, you can do it too. Just do the best you can everyday.
Day 6 of Week 3 of 2025
I DID IT - I DID IT - I DID IT
(A good step done for the beginning of the New Year)
11:00AM For the first time EVER...... I have completed all my Core Balance Chores, with none reamaning at the moment! (And it's a day and a half before the fresh week! 😀)
TRY TO STAY FOCUSED ON WHATS IMPORTANT FOR THE REST OF THE DAY
A related quote that helped me often... maybe you too
“Even the mundane task of washing dishes by hand is an example of the small tasks and personal activities that once filled people's daily lives with a sense of achievement.” B. F. Skinner
And I give thanks for all the support I got here on 7 cups that helped out of the dark.
Thank you for the encouragement I think once I'm on top of everything it'll be so much easier to keep the momentum xD but I really have let myself get into a state.. I have very much been camping in my flat for the last 7 months rather than living comfortably. Will make a really nice change to feel like I have everything
handled!
@blueSpring337
Your welcome. It sounds like the time has come for you. You will be back on top things before you know it. 😀👍
imo you have nothing to be embarrassed about
everyone's got their places they're not doing so great at
my best tip is to focus on just one thing at a time. like whats the next thing?
also...it's important to realize when depressed even this is hard and can require Heroic effort!
often for me if I'm funky and in bed, the next thing to do...is to do a brain dump into a Google keep note on my phone and then sort the order of important things to do. and...often (for me) the next thing/first thing (if I've been in bed) is "get outside for a walk!"
keep up your good work. little changes are the ones we can make now, so you can definitely appreciate the successes you've had so far.
