Completely desperate

@Marina2004
I think relationships can be complicated, and it's important to find ones that make you feel respected and valued beyond just physical stuff. and feeling used or unsatisfied is a common struggle, but it doesn't define your worth.

@Marina2004

I do not think you should be ashamed of yourself... It shows you are aware of this you can stop it... many people are in your shoes but kid themselves that they are not being used.   Your awareness shows strength.. now you decided what you want to do about it. quit being physical until other parts of relationship are there ? 

It is an easy thing when young  to fall into .....some people show a lot of interest and play along to get what they want ...some mistake physical  for love because they do not have the confidence they are worth Respect and so much more. 

Maturity is not something people get when they reach a specific AGE .... it comes with personal growth....

@Marina2004

I mean you could but I don't suggest it. It doesn't change patterns and habits in any real way. It's the equivalent of shaming a small child for just doing something normal like maybe spilling some milk. And that child will either slap a smile on their face and pretend everything okay and go around acting like everything is fine before one day blowing their head off or taking a bottle of sleeping pills with a pint of whiskey, or shut down and be very quiet, or act out all the time.

This can be very hard to remember and it's not going to change overnight. The same behaviour may drop down or crop up or sneak in or blow out at any given moment, or any combination thereof in whatever intensity. Maybe even right when one think it's turning around or that they had a handle on it.

This is when one needs to dig all ten toes and fingers in and hang on. Fall back on their self care tools and skills. Which people are absolutely capable of doing. Time and patience are the greatest warriors. And the pen is mightier than the sword. Byron Katie. ACIM. Marianne Williamson. Eckhart Tolle. Louise Hay. Glo podcast. Happy Place podcast. Brene Brown's podcast. Micheal Singer. Tony Robbins. These are just the tip of the tip of the iceberg of available resources. 

There's a journal on here, or find an exceptional one or go thrifting, or both. Or an app.

Write. It. Down.

It's like siphoning poison and garbage and clutter out of your head and arranging it in a way that makes sense, like cleaning your house. Or at least looking at it with a clearer eye. Or looking at it. It is a step, and a step always leads to another step. Enough steps and boom, basecamp of Everest. Boom, second basecamp. Boom, the top. 

The grief and loss process is helpful. Learn the different cycles. Learn about the abuse cycle. The unholy trinity of fixer, victim and aggressor. Learn about money. Health wealth happiness, baby. Learn to ask for help. Learn about your cycles, your hormones, the power of sunlight, magnesium, water, sleep.

I'm on my last brain cell so I hope this is making some *** sense because gworl whatever your thoughts and beliefs are telling you right now those aren't you but the results of trauma and heck yes they can be resolved. Just be diligent and there's no limit to what is achievable. Okay?

There's great thoughts and beliefs in you too. Write those down. Tend them gently 🦉🖤lovingly, patiently. Write the greatness down. It might be the strings that hold you together when everything, everywhere, everyone falls apart. And be honest with yourself and others. Not trauma-dump honest. Be real about what you're facing. Because if you can't, then nobody, nothing, nowhere is going to be able to help. And you can do it. One thought at a time. One thing at a time. One day at a time. Step by step.

There’s no need for shame my friend. It’s an opportunity to recognise what you don’t or do want in your life. If what you want is honest and open communication & understanding, then set your mind to finding people aligned with those values xx