Demotivated

I'm sorry to hear about the abuse that you endured. Use this as a source of motivation to take care of yourself. You are worthy and deserving of care too. Whatever it may look like, do it and it will play off in the long run.

Thanks, the past still crosses my head, and I still have some patterns of self indulgence. But I'm trying to change.

Hello Sorry to hear about the abuse , and yes motivation is the key. You are ready to take care of your self because you ask for motivation. First off get yo know your self , and limits. Try having positive thoughts about yourself. Write down positive thoughts on a sticky note and place them on a mirror. So you look at yourself in the mirror it’s a reminder of what you are moving toward.

It's hard to accept, the reality. Its hard to change, it's hard to standup after being out down by so many, the ones you'd trust. It's hard to know that. Then that's probably why I must rely on myself. Be my own support. Be my own strength. My own responsibility. And uplift my own self.

@powerfulPomegranate7876

Hey,

I can understand so much of what you must be going through now. I have also been through tons of abuse.

The best things I can say for help are working on learning about your own sense of self-worth, ..that you matter just as much as anyone else. With that, you can learn more about setting good boundaries, which will help with this, help me you feeling good about yourself, help you feel how much you and your needs matter, help you learn good ways that can help keep abuse from happening in the future, and just so much more powerfulPomegranate. I hope you can work with a therapist. That would be good. If that is not an option now, get a good workbook and go through it slowly and let it all soak in. You are a good person and deserve to not go through the abuse!!!!

@Amelia2324

Hey,

Thank you so much for your message, it's a great feeling to be heard and to be genuinely cared for and supported.
I have been taking counselling support and using many self-help resources. Thank you for your support. and this platform 7Cups, it's a great platform, feel fortunate to have found this space.

<3 <3 <3

Finding motivation is difficult. But it is possible. Defining boundaries is difficult but needed. Then searching and finding out what works for you. For me, I am now walking regularly, maintaining hydration and meditating. I am still not in a very happy place yet, but I feel like I have made so much progress. I am sure you will find out activities that will help you. Some may work, some won't. But I am sure you will because you have started searching already.

@optimisticFarm9295

I'm am truly sorry that you experienced abuse, I know it is an awful and heartbreaking experience . I hope you find the strength and motivation that you need to overcome this experience.

-Once you are physically safe and secure, it is a good idea that you seek professional help for any abuse-related difficulties you may develop. (For example, you may have difficulty coping with abuse memories themselves. ) (You may also benefit from assistance in coping with problems that develop because you were abused, such as: Substance abuse problems, sexual or intimacy issues, anger issues, eating disorders, trouble sleeping, panic & anxiety attacks, flashbacks, feelings of self-hate/ low self-esteem, fearing people & relationships ...etc)

-It is important to not blame yourself for having been abused, no matter what the circumstances of your abuse may have been. People tend to blame themselves for 'allowing' abuse to have happened to themselves. Abuse is abuse - it occurs when someone mistreats another person, ignoring their own wishes and dignity. You did not ask to be abused, and you probably had few ways to avoid it happening throughout most of the period the abuse occurred (if not all of it). Blaming the victim is common, but it doesn't make it a right or accurate thing to do. You are not to blame for having been abused.

-Refocusing the subconscious mind starts with “forcing” positivity. The negativity — or the inner critic — can stir self-sabotage and hold you back from embracing positive things. Refocus the inner critical voice by putting in place a system of positive affirmations that you can use daily. Positive affirmations can interrupt those disruptive and unwelcome thoughts and turn them into something better.

-Seek out ways you can work through the abuse without having to directly focusing on the experiences/feelings/emotions that occurred as a result. Such as art therapy, exercise, music.

Hi Ivy, thank you so much for this message. I'm grateful for the fact that my abuse was psychological and emotional, and not physical. I don't know how people who really go through physical abuse handle this, but I can definitely understand how it feels. I sought professional support at my university and at work.. but I didn't find them healing, I found them to be quite manipulative. And you're right, I get more exhausted and feel stupid for allowing it to have happened to me when I try to interact with the people I expect support from in person.. My parents, call it "life" ask me to move on and stay positive, and smile, not bother about stuff and think about "getting married".. They kind of push me, without caring about how uncomfortable I get. Some told me it's a part of "growing up". "It happens to everybody." Most elders that I sought support from were like - " oh these things happen to young girls all the time " and stuff like. " It's your upbringing! " , " How you are treated Depends on where you're coming from, it depends on your title and position! .." that thought in itself is quite demeaning to hear. They don't realise that. I never felt so low about playing the roles that I played in the past, I only felt disgusted when I saw this in the eyes of the people who looked at me that way. That's all it took.. I found the resources like 7cups to be more helpful than the ones where you would really expect some real support from. And this is overwhelming and enlightening at the same time .. It's another thing that my experience is making me learn that I am capable of helping and uplifting my own self. :) I have flashbacks. Yes. True. And trouble in forming relationships and meeting new people. Yes. True. I won't stop , just slowed down.

❤️