Toxins: Rumination and Worry

Dear Readers,

As most of you know there are many states of mind that can rob us of our peace. For the sake of this post we are going to discuss worry and rumination. Rumination involves rehashing the past through obsessive negative thought and regret while worry pertains to negative concerns for the future. These can swiftly interrupt our calm and/or ability to bathe in the present moment, stealing our ability to think clearly, and can cost us valuable moments of our lives. Here I would like to share some food for thought regarding our current relationship with these two states of mind. Please take the time to reflect during this exercise and put some thought into your responses.

Part I: Rumination

What can be done to stop ruminating? Here are some tips that may help.

1. Identify the thought or fear.

What is your biggest fear? Maybe you are afraid of getting fired or looking foolish in front of others. Journaling can be a great way to clarify the underlying fear.

2. Think about the worst-case scenario.

This may sound like an awful suggestion, but we can often handle the worst-case scenario, which takes away the power of the original thought. Ask yourself two questions:

What is the worst thing that can happen?

Can I handle that?

Most likely, the answer is yes. Human beings are very resilient. Remember, sometimes our biggest hardships can turn into our biggest growth experiences. For example, I once worked with a client who was devastated after losing his job. He survived it, and as it turned out, this ended up being a blessing in disguise. It allowed him to find a position that fit his interests and lifestyle, leading to a more fulfilling and meaningful career.

3. Let go of what you can not control. THIS HAS BEEN A BIG PERSONAL HURDLE FOR ME AS MUCH OF MY ANXIETY AND PANIC STEMMED FROM A PLACE OF THE PERCEPTION OF CONTROL.

4. Look at mistakes as learning opportunities.

5. Schedule a worry break.

Schedule 20 to 30 minutes a day to worry and make the most of it. This allows for a time and place to think about all your biggest insecurities while containing it to a specific period of time. At other times of the day, remind yourself that you will have time to contemplate later.

6. Mindfulness. We spend so much time thinking about past mistakes or worrying about future events, that we spend very little time in the here and now. A good example of this is every time we find ourselves on autopilot while driving a car.The practice of mindfulness is a great way to reduce our thinking selves and increase our sensing selves in the here and now. For example, ask yourself what you hear, feel, smell, see and taste. This can help ground you in the present moment. Mindfulness is an important skill for enjoying the significant moments in life. Enjoying coffee with a friend can be disrupted if we begin thinking about all the things we need to do that day. When you notice your mind wandering, gently guide it back to the present.

7. Exercise

8. Try Therapy

Review the full article at Psych Central, 8 Tips to Help Stop Ruminating, By Lauren Feiner, PsyD

Additional Reading: Very Well, Rumination And How It Affects Your Life: Learn How Rumination Exacerbates Your Stress Levels, By Elizabeth Scott, MS - Reviewed by a board-certified physician.

Part II: Worry

On the one hand I believe worry can be an excellent tool when used properly. It can assist in problem solving or avoiding crises. However, worry at great length can be responsible for sleepless nights, anxiety, and depression.

Worrying can be helpful when it spurs you to take action and solve a problem. But if youre preoccupied with what ifs and worst-case scenarios, worry becomes a problem. Unrelenting doubts and fears can be paralyzing. They can sap your emotional energy, send your anxiety levels soaring, and interfere with your daily life. But chronic worrying is a mental habit that can be broken. You can train your brain to stay calm and look at life from a more positive perspective.

What can be done about it?

1. Schedule a worry break. (see above list for review)

2. Ask if your problem is solvable:

Distinguish between solvable and unsolvable worries

If a worry pops into your head, start by asking yourself whether the problem is something you can actually solve. The following questions can help:

Is the problem something you're currently facing, rather than an imaginary what-if?

If the problem is an imaginary what-if, how likely is it to happen? Is your concern realistic?

Can you do something about the problem or prepare for it, or is it out of your control?

[Dealing with unsolvable worries

But what if the worry isnt something you can solve? If youre a chronic worrier, the vast majority of your anxious thoughts probably fall in this camp. In such cases, its important to tune into your emotions...Learn to embrace your feelings. (Self-Care/Compassion)]

3. Challenge anxious beliefs:

Stop worrying by questioning the anxious thought

Whats the evidence that the thought is true? That its not true?

Is there a more positive, realistic way of looking at the situation?

Whats the probability that what Im scared of will actually happen? If the probability is low, what are some more likely outcomes?

Is the thought helpful? How will worrying about it help me and how will it hurt me?

What would I say to a friend who had this worry?

Here are some examples of other cognitive distortions:

4. Accept uncertainty:

To understand the problems of refusing to accept uncertainty, ask yourself the following 4 questions and write down your responses.

Is it possible to be certain about everything in life?

What are the advantages of requiring certainty, versus the disadvantages? Or, how is needing certainty in life helpful and unhelpful?

Do you tend to predict bad things will happen just because they are uncertain? Is this a reasonable thing to do? What is the likelihood of positive or neutral outcomes?

Is it possible to live with the small chance that something negative may happen, given its likelihood is very low?

Source: Accepting Uncertainty, Centre for Clinical Interventions

5. Be aware of how others affect you:

*Keep a worry diary.

*Spend less time with people who make you anxious.

* Choose your confidantes carefully.

6. Practice mindfulness:

Acknowledge and observe your anxious thoughts and feelings. Dont try to ignore, fight, or control them like you usually would. Instead, simply observe them as if from an outsiders perspective, without reacting or judging.

Let your worries go. Notice that when you dont try to control the anxious thoughts that pop up, they soon pass, like clouds moving across the sky. Its only when you engage your worries that you get stuck.

Stay focused on the present. Pay attention to the way your body feels, the rhythm of your breathing, your ever-changing emotions, and the thoughts that drift across your mind. If you find yourself getting stuck on a particular thought, bring your attention back to the present moment.

Using mindfulness meditation to stay focused on the present is a simple concept, but it takes practice to reap the benefits. At first, youll probably find that your mind keeps wandering back to your worries. Try not to get frustrated. Each time you draw your focus back to the present, youre reinforcing a new mental habit that will help you break free of the negative worry cycle.

Review the full article at Helpguide.org, How to Stop Worrying, Self-Help Tips for Relieving Anxiety, Worry, and Fear, Melinda Smith, M.A., Robert Segal, M.A., and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.

Note mindfulness can be found on both lists.

Thanks for reading!