progress

Lately I had been through a break through, I had been working a lot in my life to progress, mainly in being more aware about myself and my surroundings, I recognize that I had been escape for a long time. Yet I think one of the reasons for to progress might had been that if i were to travel to another countries for holiday or as a staying for some time, that I would be able to enjoy myself there. My father kept making emphasis I think that me traveling was more like a escape from myself than anything else, I do not know why, but I feel like my father`s words have a huge weight on myself. Yes, there are lots of  unresolved issues within me, life frustrations, things that could potentially turn into anger, I used to be super angry all the time, now I try to manage it and channel that into other more positive ways, like in the gym, or just talking it over. I had done many things I am not very proud of, yet I try to see how to fix things from now onward. So some of my problems were, escaping too much, the inability to connect with others emotionally, being too much in my thoughts or most or all the time, doing too many solo activities and being more or an analytical person/ perfection, though i know perfection is impossible, so is more like a metaphor in this case.

So I am trying to learn from others, mainly trying to be able to connect more emotionally rather than to be too much in my head, is a changing process. I noticed how many people when socializing they use alcohol as a clutch to be able to interact with strangers or to be more in the moment or other reasons perhaps. Is not something you just can think your way through, at first perhaps you can make plans on how to be sociable, but then is about taking baby steps to starting to loosen up and getting into it. 

So to sum it up, I had made a lot of progress lately thanks to 7 cups , the good people here, my therapist, my family support too, and how I had been shifting myself from being from someone with no hope of achieving anything in life to becoming someone with hope for the future and aching to do so many things in life and knowing that for to get closer to this goal I would had to progress so much and I will have to make so many changes to better myself, and this is what gives me hope, seeing how that all the work I do it really makes a huge difference, and seeing that If i put the work it will pay up.

thanks for reading and have a lovely day.