bi, feel scared to tell people

Hi everyone 👋🏼

So pretty much I’m bi but scared to tell almost anyone. I’m a cis guy and I have a girlfriend and she knows and is supportive. In fact, she is bi herself and has had women partners before. However, I am terrified to tell almost anyone about the fact that I am bi.

I have told my mom in the past and she completely rejected it and told me that being bi didn’t exist. In short, she was not okay with it as all. I think she has said that she used to have sexual feelings towards women, so maybe she is just repressing her own sexual complexity and finds it threatening when I say that I am bi. I think how negatively my parents have responded to me saying that I’m bi is a big reason why I am terrified to be more open about it.

I have a large Latine/x family and I know that most of them are very homophobic. Especially on my mom’s side. They are very politically and socially conservative and I know that they would totally reject me if I said that I was bi. But at the same time, part of me wants to just be open about it.

I have a good-paying job. I live on my own and have a loving girlfriend and I’m honestly just seek of keeping my sexuality to myself and feeling like I have to be so private about it. I do all that I can to be an ally to LGBTQ+ people and support gay rights but I also am terrified to come out as a bi person and be more open with those in my life about the fact that I am bi. I have a girlfriend and I love her and I don’t want to break up with her but I still want to be more open about my sexuality and I want to be openly bi, mostly for the sake of honesty and authenticity.

I think what is most stressful for me is the fact that my parents are so conservative and have rejected me so forcefully when I have told them that I am bi (this was years ago that I last told them, maybe like 10 years ago).

I also want to talk to my therapist about my sexuality but I worry that even he would judge and reject me because he seems like a very “guy’s”-guy and he doesn’t list LGBTQ issues as his expertise anywhere on his website profiles.

I think there are a few family members who are much more progressive than others and who would be much more supportive of me if I were to come out to them. For example, I think my sister and my cousins would both be really supportive of me. I think several of my cousins would be supportive of me, in fact. I worry about them telling my mom or dad but I have no idea why they would tell my mom or dad. I don’t think they would actually tell them. But the idea of telling my sister or cousin about the fact that I am bi really appeals to me. A lot. I am still scared of doing it, though. I just want to be more open about it.

I really want to tell more people about the fact that I am bi, and I want to explore my sexuality more. I know almost nothing about gender or sexuality and I want to understand it better. I want to read more about it. I just know very little about either topic. I feel like sex is something that I really really care about but which I know very very little about.

I want to open up about this and be more honest with others, but I think 7 Cups is probably a good place to start. This seems to be a great place to talk more about this and I intend to keep opening up.

Thank you very much for reading.