My wife wants an open relationship
Lesbian couple here. My wife told me a week ago that she was no longer sexually attracted to me. She wanted to open the relationship. She said that she wanted to explore and find her confidence that she feels she had lost. I told her ok. As much as it would hurt me. She had sex the next night. And two days later she asked me for a break. Is this normal? Do I wait for her? Do continue to give her the break she asked for? We haven’t had a real conversation since she asked for the break. And now she spends every night with this new woman. Any advice would be appreciated.
@Franzi11
Greetings Franzi! I think I may be just the person to help. I am also a lesbian. When I first met my wife, I was practicing the polyamarous lifestyle. It didn't take long for me to learn that she is monogamous. I didn't think twice, as I am of the mind that your lifestyle is a choice, while being gay isn't.
It sounds like your wife is attempting to have her cake and eat it too. A change in dynamic of any kind definitely warrants a clear and concise sit-down communication with your spouse. At this point you must determine what your feelings are and what you can live with.
Ask yourself if you're open to the new dynamic. If in your heart you're truly unhappy at the thought of sharing your partner, I encourage you to tell her that. Also, if she had any respect for you, she would not go about this in the way that she is. There are ways to make these choices ethically, and I am equally disappointed and hurt by her actions for you.
I know it's difficult to be objective, but do your best to explore how you feel about the situation and bring it to the table. Hold her accountable for her behavior and follow through on your deal breakers.
You deserve to be happy and treated with respect.
-Blithe