Internalized Homophobia

I am bisexual and non-binary. Growing up my family has always talked down on the lgbtq community. They are either very religious and strong republican views on genders and what not or just find the community as gross. This has made me very uncomfortable with myself. I feel a pressure to agree with them and hide my identity. It has gotten to the point where I don’t even talk to people within the community and I feel so ashamed of myself. I haven’t really come out to anyone explicitly, except my dad. And he has made rude comments to me before and been vocal about trans education for young people is wrong. I’m beginning to hate myself. Now when I talk to people who are disrespectful I just nod and smile and say I understand. I really want to be vocal because I know what it’s like to feel alone. I just don’t have any confidence in myself and now I’m growing my hair back out and trying to dress in a more conformist light. I’ve also been struggling with religion. I do believe in God, but I feel that I will never fit in within a church.