am i still a lesbian

@kikiliza good question - well, per definition, being bi means being attracted to more than one gender in general (which seems to be your case). However, it is also stated that if you for instance only like women and women-aligned non binary people it counts as being lesbian. This is because you do not seem to be attracted to all non-binary individuals, but only female-aligned ones (at least from the information i gained in your short text). I honestly find it difficult to find an overview to what exact label fits when. In the end, do not pressure yourself to find a label to your experience. Maybe ask your partner what they think of you saying you are lesbian in this case and discuss together what makes your partner feel valid in their identity.

@kikiliza

I identify as pansexual genderfluid and nonbinary, my wife identifies as autochorissexual lesbian and as a woman. We are both polyamorous. You can find yourself under one defining label, or many, or a few, or may not know what label best describes you. If you're looking for a label, look for what matches you each individually, rather than dependently, if that makes sense. My wife strongly associates with only being attracted to women, but loves me for me. Attraction, love, sex, romance, fantasy, and gender are all different things. Not all labels will necessarily always align with all parts of the way we feel or who we are, and some may cover more than one area.

In short, yes. You can still be considered a lesbian.

@kikiliza

if it makes you feel comfortable and closer to your identity to be called lesbian, than you can totally do that. It’s what makes you comfortable. You can still only be attracted to women and your partner is just that one special person 

@kikiliza

do whatever feels right to you. if someone assumes you like men that's just a wrong assumption and thats a fault on them, even so it's not always their business they shouldn't always jump to conclusions like that. if you feel the need to correct them then do that but do whatever label you feel comfortable with. even if you end up having no label at all thats okay too.

@kikiliza Hi there! I'm sorry for reaching out so late but I just wanted to give you some personal insight on behalf of a friend of mine :) I'm pan but she's a lesbian dating an enby as well!

Aside from the fact that it helps you feel closer to your identity, if the label of lesbian fits you best and makes you feel the most comfortable, it is 100% okay for you to use it. After all, lesbian/wlw means you're a non-man loving a non-man (doesn't necessarily have to be women loving women).

Because it's an umbrella/spectrum, you can identify as a lesbian and be attracted to non-binary people as they do not identify as men :) Hope this helps and good luck finding what works best for you! 💚

- Infj