Why are m-spec lesbians bad?
There are many reasons someone might want to identify as an m-spec lesbian.
- They have a preference for women but can be attracted to other gender(s) as well
- They use the split attraction model (lesbian and multiromantic, multisexual and lesbiromantic, etc
It's harmful, hateful, and outright homophobic/transphobic to assume someone will affect the community negatively just because of how they identify when it's only gatekeepers like these who harm the community most. Why is it so hard to just respect how one identifies??
@Ash572
I'm not sure who said they are 'bad', but I have seen how romantic vs sexual attraction pieces have caused a lot of confusion, almost like the increase in specificity has lead to a loss of clarity.
I know some of this experience but from the 'asexual lesbian' side of it. I used to try to explain it to other lesbians but they heard "asexual" and just assumed aromantic too. It was exhausting always having to explain the difference etc. Though in recent years asexuality has grown in understanding a lot, even as I've felt less need to self-identify as such to those who are not my partner.
Now I usually simply identify as 'lesbian' because to me as far as it matters to anyone else - I am a woman, and my partner is another woman (and in theory only other women pose any interest as partners though even then I'm also demiromantic so it's a very short list of only women). The rest of my attraction is something I consider between myself and my partner.
I guess in a way I find all the labels and trying to find our perfect little boxes have led to a lot of divisions and separation within the overall LGBTQ+ community, we've focused so much on what makes us different we've started to drift away from what we have in common. I find the more labels we have the more gatekeeping seems to happen as there are more lines drawn up between all the boxes.
But many like finding their snug little niche, even while it leads to these kinds of divisions. It almost seems to be a stage in the understanding and acceptance of ourselves. I know the older I get, the more I accept that I'm just me, the less I need those specific labels. I spend a lot of time a group of older women in the community and notice a similar relaxation of labels.
So maybe it's part of that process of understanding ourselves, how we fit into the community, and then remembering that it is a community for a reason, and what unites us is more important than which labels we wear?
Thanks for your questions, though my apologies for not having more of an answer.
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
