Struggling With Extreme Loneliness
So I've been feeling extremely lonely lately. I'm starting to believe that I'm going to have to learn to be alone for the rest of my life. I am 35 and I truly believe because of everything that has happened in the past two years are because of this. I'm not going into detail here since my story has been shared in other communities and it can be intense and a trigger warning to others but I will say is once people find the truth about me they leave me. I have nobody except homophobic family members whom I'm not even out to or feel like I can ever come out to. I feel abandoned by the lgbtq+ community. Yesterday I had to text a crisis hotline twice and I even sent to two different advice columinists how to learn to be alone (without family, community and a partner) and be okay with that. They haven't replied back. I unfollowed lesbian instagram couples as seeing people being happy just depresses me. I wish I didn't feel this way. People on those hotlines keep telling me to not give up or it will get better. I hate hearing those phrases, I'm 35 not a a 15 year old where their future will be better than mine.
I'm really sorry that you're going through that. I would like to tell you that you won't be along forever if you keep going. You mentioned that you didn't want to hear that but I'm sure that there are people out there for you. Go to as many social events as you can (virtually if you wish) and try and make friends. Talking to people will help you. And if social media is bring you down, then stay off of it.
And yes. You do have something to live for. You still have a future, even if it isn't clear.
Hope this helped.
@compassionateSpruce8482 I can actually understand what you're going through. Im 23 and I know thats young but I feel the same way. I know its hard, especially when you see all those happy couples and it seems like they're rubbing all that happiness in your face. But you can have that too, I believe that maybe one day I could too. Try to keep your head up. If you ever want to talk, just shoot me a message.
@compassionateSpruce8482
Hey there !
I am a Listener here as you can see and I have direct experience with loneliness...so yeah you can text me any time you feel lonely or have other issues.
And being a listener here obviously means that I don't judge anyone on any basis.
Hit me up with a personal message and see if I can help.
Thank you
@compassionateSpruce8482 I am sorry you feel this way. Today I feel lonely and abadoned (for my beliefs) too and reading this made me emotional.
We all need love and acceptance and to be ourselves. And do the things which normal people our age are doing. But the concept of normal is totally bonkers. Its totally not your fault that these things are happening with you.
Any one who doesnt accept you sucks. And its very very unfortunate that you keep going through it even if you dont deserve it. Its truly unfortunate that bad things happen to good people so often
I am here with you I want to hug you and let you know that I am here I feel your pain and you can feel safe <3
@compassionateSpruce8482
Hey I can relate with you well can we have a private conversation
I’m sorry to hear you are feeling that way, but you are not alone. I have tried hotlines too when I get alienated; esp now with this pandemic going on. It really sucks to call hotlines and then you get disconnected in the middle of your conversation or they just send you or refer you to another hotline. Just hang in there. No one dies from being alone.
@compassionateSpruce8482
I know the feeling. I love women deeply and it's never reciprocated. I am 32 almost 33 and have never truly been in a relationship with a woman. And I'm miserable about it. I feel destined to be alone as well.
im really sorry you're going through that :(