Relationship Family Issues
My partner is very close to her family. Her father passed away early last year and I am just trying to be supportive. With her father gone we have spent a lot more time with her sister and her partner.
This is now causing me some stress because of comments her sister but mainly her partner has said towards me and is overall rude. He is a moaner so often my partner doesn't really listen to him.
One time he basically took the man's side in some abuse case that was on the news and I said funny how you take his side yet you have no idea what's gone on. He went mad and was shouting at me. He shouted to my partner's sister "SARAH IF THIS HAPPENED TO YOU WOULD YOU TELL THEM TO STOP YES OR NO?" She just said yes and he carried on shouting basically an I told you so situation and he was so aggressive towards me in the way he spoke. I am absolutely shocked still that everyone in the room just sat there and let him speak toe like that. My partner, her mum and her sister...
I have spoken to my partner but she said like before that she doesn't really listen to what he's saying because he moans but I can't get over the way he spoke to me and no one doing anything
@diligentDrum7773
I get that you are correct in expecting someone to step up .......to change the subject or calm the situation down. Maybe they have more experience with him and knows once he is set off it does not dissipate.
I would suggest just avoiding him or only one word responses ... while i am sure you can make your points some people are simply not worth the time to debate certain people
@toughTiger6481 Thank you that's helpful. Unfortunately it isn't just debate nor much of an option to avoid. The conversation with everyone varies between what we've had for dinner one night or what washing detergent we use. Though a lot of the time he starts yelling political things. Every time I answer it's a problem, you've used the wrong vegetable in that dish or WHY do you use that washing stuff. It's like he can't comprehend that people lead different lives.
The particular time above I found him especially aggressive, which is why I thought someone would stick up for me. Other times I've just bitten my tongue and ignored what he's said. He would argue red is blue.
Though after multiple visits of constant arguing I think it's starting to take it's toll on my mental health.
@diligentDrum7773
Is there any way you can tell your partner that you would prefer not to spend much time with them.
It is not good for mental health to always be around someone with a negative attitude and anger... i am guessing you tense up before even interacting with this person. the reality is partners are not obligated to like or enjoy hanging around a siblings partner etc.
Maybe she can visit without you?